Dear School,

Please stop sucking.
=(

Hey 3rd Year

I realized after attending my first classes of the year, as the business courses get higher in level, the profanity from the profs also get higher. It was pretty funny how their anger channels out of them in the form of curse words. However, what I get from their profanity is that they really do care about their students and how much they succeed.

I'm pretty excited about this semester because I find Finance is just the kind of math I enjoy and am willing to put in the effort for, and business law is just extremely interesting. Also, Religion and Politics sounds suuuuper interesting and hopefully I'll be able to get to work on time. Maybe I'll just drop my Japanese Civilization class.. or just do 5 again this year. I'm a little iffy on the accounting part, so I'll have to somehow figure out how I'm suppose to study for that class haha.

So.. ya! Hopefully things turn out better this year for school despite how much I'm dreading it.
Bye now!

Should've Been Me

Should've been me
Should've been us
Should've been there hanging on the cross
All of this shame
All of these scars
Should've been stains that were never washed
Why do I hide
Why do you try over and over again
I guess it just leaves me saying Thank God

For this heart you changed
This soul you raised my God
For taking my place

...

I guess it just leaves me saying Thank God...
For the should've been.

DVBS Week 4

I am suuuuuuper tired as of the moment, but I'm still thinking of things to do for tomorrow. I just tried the experiment that I wanted to show the kids tomorrow... it consisted of using milk, food colouring, a cotton swab and dish soap. My mother watched me as I carried it out but did not like how I wasted milk haha... That's okay... Although I suppose it is quite a waste.

This week kind of hit me like a train. I don't know why, I was alright for the first 3 weeks, but man, week 4 just kind killed. The kids this year made me think back to why I went for the interview for the teaching position. I really missed them and it's the same reason I don't want week 6 to come too soon. These kids have really given me lots to learn from and they honestly make me so happy. Even though there are the occasional bad attitudes, I still enjoy their presence despite it.

Through these few weeks... God has shown me just how much he loves these kids... Watching these kids learn about Him, receive through Him has been such an honest blessing. None of these kids would have showed up if it weren't for Him. Even if it was just a tiny miracle, to change the weather outside so they could stay dry from the rain, or just fun in the sun.... It's the evidence of God's love for these kids. Every kid who had safely returned from our field trips is also proof of God's protection over these kids, because man.. sometimes we are unorganized. Praise God in everything.

I never thought that teaching a lesson for these kids would also help me grow. Each lesson pushes me to do what I teach. I am definitely not teacher material, but somehow God is helping me pull through. It's been a struggle to keep in mind why I'm doing VBS sometimes... to fight with myself about personal gain versus doing what I do for the kids and planting seeds. Man, pride is a huge issue for me and it's a battle everyday to remind myself.

I'm excited for the 6 weeks to end because I am getting worn out... but hopefully I'll be alright in terms of lasting energy and... it doesn't end too too soon.. =)

731 days

Today was a really good day! And thanks to Mr.D for making it fantastic! =) We did many activities which mainly consisted of pet searching.
Cochrane, Science Centre, Calgary Humane Society, Douglasdale Trail, showhomes, and to top it off C&C.

Yay!

White Chicks

I just finished watching White Chicks, oh man.. it is such a classic movie. I forgot how funny it was =) I had some good laughs. I wonder if there are any more movies out there like that...

Lately a lot of people have been pricking at my nerves. It's something I have to get over but at the same time I just keep getting angry. For example, I'm not exactly the happiest at how people are responding to volunteering for DVBS. Whether it's their willingness to volunteer, or what they volunteer for. I don't blame people who really can't make it because of a job or something. The thing is that even though some people have work, their hearts are still praying for DVBS and eagerly want to help out. I won't complain about the people who are willing to give up their time to come help out either... but for the people who do have the time... I'm just going to end there. I'm just wondering what people's hearts are set on.

Volunteer training is coming up next week. I have prepared a few things here and there to say about where I hope and pray their hearts are.. but I question just how many people are going to pay attention and listen. I'm not out to condemn anyone, but I'm just frustrated. So frustrated with a lot of things and I can't think of anything that will make a change, or make an impact. I feel so useless despite my frustrations and that only makes my frustrations worsen.

I spent the last few weeks asking myself what I'm doing for DVBS and where my heart is. I'll be honest and say that when we started, my heart was anywhere but DVBS. But after praying, and just renewing my thoughts.. conviction strikes.. and patience begins.

All right. I'm going to end here. That's all I have to blog for now. Hopefully I'll be able to keep up with blogging when DVBS starts. I'm starting to get excited about it. And to be brutally honest... I miss those kids.

Scars

Praise God we don't have to hide scars,
They just strengthen our wounds and they soften our hearts
They remind us of where we have been but not who we are...


There once was a King who so burdened with grief
Walked into death so we could find peace
He rose up with scars on his hands and his feet
By them we are healed...
By them we are healed...

God I need You

I looked around and thought "this would never happen to me, never".

Booked and Ready to Go

Los Angles, baby!!!!!!!
DISNEYLAND HERE WE COME!
=)

Have you?

So I recently came across this question that has pretty much put me on the spot and gave me a little kicker.
Have you prayed about it as much as you've talked about it?
And... I haven't. Not even enough to qualify it as more than a prayer about it maybe once or twice a week. I am so guilty of this.
I've been falling back on my readings in the Bible, and I just haven't been putting God first as much as I should. AND! I definitely haven't been praying as much as I should be.
Guilty guilty guilty.
I read in my devotion book (that I also haven't been reading as much as I should >_>), that prayer is the strongest connection you could have to God. It's the thing that builds your bond. How can you get closer to someone if you never talk to them? I tried to make it my goal in that week to really work on that. I totally failed at that. Procrastination came and I welcomed it in with open arms. Now I'm stuck in this never ending circle where I can never get anything done.
I have so many excuses lined up to defend myself as to why I haven't been doing all of this and it's clear to me that the only thing I'm good at is making up excuses.
There are so many things that I want to pray for... and I would really like the people around me to pray for them as well. SO! However (if any) is reading this, here is a list of things that I would like to have prayed for... which i should pray for myself as well.

- The salvation of my family and friends
- Direction in my life and motivation

YUP! That's the giant list.

That's all I wanted to share today, good night!

Take you back

I'll take you back always
And even when your fight is over now

He always takes me back..

Words that You Say

Speak in this close communion
Though this hour seems timeless still
I wait for Your words that bid me come

Breathe in me, Holy Spirit
The will when my tomorrow comes
To follow when this song is gone

So I await the words that You say
I open my life
I am longing just to hear these words
That You say, that You say

Shape me with words of wisdom
Free my torn heart from this world
Renew my mind and form my will

Teach me to wholly offer
More than words that I can sing
So I become the song I bring

Can I be an instrument of praise
And here pursue Your heart
So my life will tell of who You are

Can I be a channel of Your love
A reflection of Your light
And live to bring You praise and serve You, Lord

Love Come to Life

I've been restless on the inside
Wondering about this heart of mine
I've been desperately trying to find
A way to prove that I'm still alive
Has the love I speak so loudly of quietly grown cold
Has my life been an empty voice?
What I say needs to be seen
I need to step out and make the choice
To let go of everything
Would you reignite this heart spark here in the dark?


Bring your love to life inside of me
Why don't you break my heart til it moves my hands and feet
For the hopeless and the broken
For the ones that don't know that you love them
Bring your love to life inside of me


A generation you're calling out
Living everything that we sing about
A revelation right here and now
Of love beyond a shadow of a doubt
Love that's greater than our own
Won't remain unknown, when you

Lord over everything, You are near

Jesus nothing compares to this grace that rescues me

Savior, now and forever Your face is all I need.

Now all I am I lay at Your feet

I'm humbled by the wonder of Your majesty 

One thing I know, I find all I need...

In Your unending love.

This is one of my favorite pictures from Japan.

Enjoy!

100%

God is Able

Your love has set 
The broken captives free 
Your love released the chains once binding me 
I'm found in grace In love's embrace 
My heart is overwhelmed


I can't stop thinking about what pastor keeps saying in service after worship on Sundays.
"If you say that you felt like you just didn't feel worship today or got anything from it... Well.. it's because you didn't put anything in to it."
It's so true. What you put in is what you get.
If your heart isn't in to worship God, of course you aren't going to get anything.
I ask myself frequently what am I doing with my life, and where I'm going with all this schooling that I'm doing. I honestly have no idea.
This week definitely wasn't the best.
I finally decided on majoring in accounting... but every time I get my test marks back it's like big blow. I feel like I honestly can't do this. It's taken me a year to figure out what I want to do and it feels like it's only getting harder. I can't stay a moment awake not thinking about school.
Yes, it won't be a big deal when I look back but I feel like this is a major decision I have to make, and I want it to be the right.
I have a hard time deciding on things because I want that outcome to be the right outcome...
After the whole car incident last week, I keep losing confidence on what I can do, and if I'm even doing anything right at all.
In one of the services pastor said that "if you don't know where you're going, any path will take you there".
Gah.. what am i even doing?
Worship today was a peace of mind that I really needed.
I want to lay every burden I have at your feet.

Family. School. Broken relationships. My future.
Right at the foot of the cross... I lay it all down.
It's Yours.

We walk on this narrow road 
Now restored as one we walk 
In Your hope 
And though 
Darkness fills our path 
Fear won't fix its hold on us 
For we know 
Love will shine before us on our path 
And guide our every step within the dark


Lord here we are with humbled hearts
To see your will be done
Let love shape us to Your own design
To bear our Maker's sign

NARUTO 571

NARUTOOOOO
WHY ARE YOU SOO BOSS?????

What's up 2012

It's the new year!! Not only that... it's the year the world is going to end because the Mayan calendar ends... ONLY TO START AGAIN! Bazinga!
I don't remember where I read about it but ya... I could be wrong.
Nonetheless... I hope you caught my bazinga. It was very important.

Like every year I wrote up my new years resolutions. SOME people are skeptical about new years resolutions saying only about 80% of those goals never get completed. And by all means, if new years resolutions aren't your thang... then... they aren't. These resolutions help me set goals that I would really like to achieve for myself.

My winter break trip was so amazing... for the most part it was because Japan was so awesome. I wanted to buy everything but thankfully and at the same time... not... a lot of the things were very expensive so that held back my spending. I loved the 5 level toy stores they had, everything was so cute and cool... actually.. they had 5 levels in most stores, except the floors were small.
I really liked the malls that they had and the arcades that were there. The games were actually win-able, which for me is enough to spend about 20+ CAD to play haha.
The food was so good!!! You must try the street vendors because for one thing.. it's clean!!!!!! Actually, that's the one and most important thing for me to try street food. (I had none in China or Hong Kong).
Even though the toilets were so clean, I refrained from using them as much as I could, I reaaaallly don't like public washrooms.
The bath house that we went to was honestly... so relaxing. I was alone for most of it and that was awesome. If you're at a bath house, go outside!!! I was really thankful to be in that beautiful country and it was just a good time to pray and to thank God for all the things He has provided in my life. That was probably the highlight of my trip.

I have to say my trip to China was not the greatest but it was still memorable. I don't think a lot of people from Calgary ever spend new years eve the way we did in China at the Canton Tower. There was singing, dancing and a lot of entertainment that I have only ever watched from on TV. It was a nice experience I didn't think I would ever get to encounter.

It's been a great start to the new year and I hope things do get better and my grades hold up.

I0010011101101101 g01101111011010010110111001100111 t01101111 m01100001011100100111001001111001 h0110100101101101.. o0110111001100101 d0110000101111001 =)