X-Men

Hm.... X-Men has been on my mind all day. To be honest, I wasn't excited to see it or anything, but as of right now.... I can't stop thinking about it.
I wouldn't normally insist on watching an action movie, but I can't seem to get this one out of my head. I REALLY want to watch it again. This movie... WAS SO GOOOOODDD EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!
Super powers get me excited. Maybe it's because I kinda wish I had super powers that makes me special and I can use it to my advantage and potentially take over the world thus turning it into a society where everyone is entitled to their own real live pokemon (of course that would require some sort of lab experiment with different animals..... okay, nevermind, if we start questioning how pokemons come to be this just all falls apart), and yu-gi-oh cards would actually have monsters come out of them using disk-like machinery, HOWEVER, I think I would ban the use of the technology to trap people's souls into cards, I didn't really like that episode................... not that I watched it...... WOW, that was completely random. I don't even think this made much sense.
Bottom line: I like super powers.
I actually want to read the comic books of X-Men, it really intrigues me. Anyways!
This was my lame excuse to not do my homework. Good night!

Fam Jam

Serrrrrrrriously
I love my cousins. I love them soooooo much.
They are the few people I just love spending time with, and I love getting to know them.
VK, MK(not the not a tree), I love you two <3

From just sitting on a bed looking at yearbooks to playing poker all in one night, it's more than just a fun time. It's a nice time to just relax, forget about everything. 

As much as we fight and ignore each other, I'm still glad you're around. Every time things get bad, or I need to vent, I'm just really happy you hear me out. When no one else seems to care, sometimes it's like you're the only one who gets it. Thanks brother man. You are quite the awesome.

Although I wish I had gone to C&C. I'm glad I spent the night at my cousin's house. It was just really nice to get my mind off of everything. 

It makes it easier to keep going.

Forget you

Dear BSEN, it's your turn.
I dislike you.
You make me feel very not good.
(TERRIBLE GRAMMER haha)

It's a funny thing with prayer. You never know how strong prayer is until you see the results. I've been doing more praying than usual, it's something I would very much like to keep up. It's become so important in my life, something I turn to when things get stressful and there's no one there at the time. God is limitless. There aren't any boundaries, no time limits to God.
These days, it just reminds me of how God became my everything.
There was a time when I thought to myself that there's no one else that I could trust other than myself. To be honest, it still happens once in a while, but with a little tweak. I know I can rely on God. When the rest of the world feels far away, even though it's right there, God is closer.
There's been a lot of prayer for my family. Especially for my family. The ones I come home to everyday. There's been a lot of prayer for my friends, for DVBS, for Summer camp. There's also been endless hours of prayer for myself, for direction. I really want it to show up soon. It's starting to eat me away inside a little. And... I've really been praying for that extra bit of strength... to just keep going.

So... even though it's super cheesy... Victory really does start with prayer... It's been doing a lot for me.

Anyways.
BSEN. I just want to pass you. So I'll study. Just for you. Feel special lah!
Alright, textbook, back to you I go.

It's Out of my Hands

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New love

That was some hot yoga session!
I feel awesome.
Thanks for a great time TH, DY, JC, DH!

=)

WHY

I asked the same question around this time last year.
It was the most painful thing I have ever gone through, and the pain remains. Just thinking about it... even now... breaks my heart.
The question WHY. It's a natural response, it's the one question we all end up turning to and depending on how we decide to answer that question... breaks us, or makes us stronger.
That one three-lettered word is enough to tear us apart and pull us away from God.
I know what it's like to hurt, to regret, to throw yourself into turmoil over that one word. I know what it's like to lose yourself, and question the authority of God over it. I know it won't make sense as to why it happened 'til much later in life when we least expect it.
To be very honest. I still don't know why. What God does, I could never understand. But to trust God, even in a situation so... devastating... it'll only lead to a promise that everything WILL be okay.
And it has been.
As much as I wanted you there for my high school graduation, as much as I wanted you to be there when I got married, as much as I wanted you to be a great-grandmother so I could see you smile around your great-grand child.... as much as I wanted these things, I know, without a shadow of a doubt, you were there, and you will be there, and you are happier than you ever were, here.
Of course I miss you. But we'll see each other again. That's just another promise.

Anyways. I'll be praying for you and your family. I pray this incident could only draw you closer to God. I really do.

Hear the Sound

You called, and You shouted
Broke through my deafness
Now I'm breathing in and breathing out
I'm alive again

You shattered my darkness
Washed away my blindness
Now I'm breathing in and breathing out
I'm alive again

Another year of YC!
Every time I go to YC, it's a different experience, each time I get something different.
This time around, I was just sooooo tired. It's strange how tired I got.
I really liked the bands that played.
Some of the more memorable bands/people were: Lincoln Brewster, Matt Maher (Dude has an amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing voice ESPECIALLY live), and of course Starfield.
Despite wanting to fall asleep lots, I still got bits and pieces from the services, and workshops. However, getting from all of them isn't the most important thing for me... It's living it.
I frequently forget these things, but this time, I really want to start living it.

Anyways. It was nice to go up to YC again, but I really don't know if I'll go again. But we'll see!
sooo ya!

IHM

Sooo... it appears I have hit a roadblock in my Bible reading once again.
-Sigh-
The moment I tell myself that, oh I'll read it tomorrow, I never seem to get back to it.
IT'S SO BAD.
Well, I shouldn't make any excuses, but I'm trying really hard to get past the part with the lamps, and the table... and stuff in the old testament. Anyways.
This reminds me... I still want to go to Blessings. I've been wanting to go... for a while now, I just never got around to it.

Soo.. I have to go back to school soon.... I'm not going to know anyone. My cousin bailed on me and JMF couldn't get into it. -sigh-
Maybe I'll make a friend, and maybe I won't be confined to only my asian friends... Mayhaps my circle of friends will grow.

I still need to work on lesson planning for DVBS, eventually start to study some theory and get my grade 10 piano cert, and.... some other things.
But on the bright side.
YC is this weekend, hurray!
I look forward to Starfield, I've been slightly obsessed with their music this past year.
And...
That's all!

We all bleed red...

I love them country music sometimes =)
It's such a big full moon out tonight!!! Skies are so clear.
Makes me want to drive forever, but I'm such a hazard today T_T
So many close calls =(
Oh driving... why do we have such a love/hate relationship?

I really don't think I can do another day of first aid training
it makes me want to throw a pebble at a small animal.....
?


Oh......... the truth in this.

Dear Room

YOU'RE SO HARD TO CLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN.
Somebody wanna help me organize my stuff?
T_T

I need something to hold all my stuffed animals so I can sleep at night without having a million different things suffocate me in my sleep, along with other things falling on my head.
THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING THAT CAN HOLD THEM ALL WHILE STILL ALLOWING ME TO SEE THEM...
or maybe.. it's time to donate some..............................
No.
That's not happening.

Oh hot daay-um...

Living, He loved me
Dying, He saved me
Buried, He carried my sins far away
Rising, He justified freely forever
One day He’s coming
Oh glorious day, oh glorious day

^ Now that's what I'm talking about =D


By now, i'm going crazy. Looking at the university student center makes me really sad. When will I know what I want to do as a career goal? I mean, having just one thing to aim for is better than nothing but why is it so hard to do even that?
Ugghhhhhhh....!!!!
I need to make up mind...
Which leads me to a lot of other things.
For the things that I'd actually like to do. Do I really need to fill some sort of a role? What if I can never be like that? What if I don't have that faith in myself to do something like that? What if... all I need is support instead of people just telling me things I already know about myself, and what I need to change.
It just feels like God is telling me something different. I don't know if it's God or not to be honest. I never do. It's really hard to listen for God's voice because I never know if it's Him, or if He's ever even said anything to me. People come and say, oh ya, that was God for sure. Well... why am I the only one still left in the dark not really know if that's true or not?
I have such a hard time making a decision... for anything. I'm very capable of getting things done on my own. Unfortunately, I just prefer not doing them on my own. And that's when people should not help me. EVER.
What I'd like... I think is for people to just support me in the decisions I make. Even when I make the wrong ones, especially when I actually step up to do something.
I have this fear of being critiqued for everything that I do. I hate being judged... it's literally like a fear. Just a little something about myself.
I get really really anxious and things just go downhill after that stage.
But ya. Hopefully things change. I've really been working hard to change those aspects about me. It's just that fears are fears, to overcome them is hard, and thankfully, God has given me time and opportunities to face them.

Things are getting really stressful. It makes me more prone to becoming irritated. So hopefully these issues will be resolved.
All I know for now.. is that God will come through... even though things really aren't looking up for me right now.

Any ways. I'm feeling very hungry.
Happy birthday Pops. Brazilian buffet here we come =D

So many people in this world...
but I hear you calling out my name
=)

Time for Tako

I am feeling sooooooo tired right now.
Lots of mall walking, and more walking later in the day.
Wow... Walking makes me tired... how sad.

I really don't want my spring course to start. Like really really don't want it to start. That means I have to go through it again. I think I should start reading, and study up on it.
It's really funny because I noticed how much I don't go on the internet when I don't have school. I don't go on facebook much, I don't do anything much on the interweb. However, during school, it was like a consistent usage of my laptop, going on it every chance I get.....
What's wrong with me?? lol
I'm really enjoying the weather these days. It's nice not seeing just white and brown everywhere. Green makes the world seem so much nicer. It's nice to see blue skies and oh right, the sun.
I'm really really feeling like doing hot yoga, or just yoga. Should be fun!

UGHHHH

I FEEL SO OLDDDDDDDDDD >_>

You

Your light will lead me home...
Because You are home to me.

I'll sleep well at tonight
knowing He who never sleeps is by my side
cause You're here with me for life.

Paper Planes

You'll always know my heart.
Forever and ever, no matter what time of the day, even though the rest of world is out of reach or asleep.
I'll have Your wings to hide under, and You'll hold my heart in the very palm of Your hands.
When I need comfort, You're the first one there.
Don't ever give up on me, even though I'll sometimes do that to myself...
You're my strong hold, keeping everything together.


You hold the weight of the world
Still i don't slip through your hands
Your love is bigger
Than just an ocean built by man
I fall again and again
But you whisper you're still mine.
You feel the pain of the world
But You never push mine aside.

And You reach for me
With a love that quiets all my fears
And You reach for me
Like a father wipes away the tears
So many people in this world
But i hear You calling out my name.
You reach for me.
Now i'm never gonna be the same.

You know all of my fears
There's nothing your eyes can't see.
When i tried to give up
Lord you never gave up on me.
I give you all of my hopes and dreams
I lay them down.
Of all the place i've looked
You're the one truth i have found.
REACH - PETER FURLER

From paper planes to foreign skies
You sustain my wings in flight
With You home stays in sight
PAPER PLANES - AMANDA FALKS

Anthem Lights

I wanna know You like that
To live, to love
With everything I am
To give it all
I wanna know You like that
To become
A man after Your heart
And not look back
I wanna know You like that

Hai derr

4 down!!!!!!!
One more to go =)
I feel as though exams have been never ending.
I just want this to be over T_T
Then.. I can finally go shopping!!!!!
I don't remember the last time I've been shopping so.... ya, I really need to get out there.

After running around the field, playing some basketball and stuff, I feel pretty good.
Exercise deemed helpful on Easter Sunday !!
I'm just happy I got to spend some time with some good friends, hanging out, DOING SOMETHING, and having a good time.
Usually with some of my other friends, for most of the time we're hanging out, it's mostly just sitting around trying to figure out what to do >_>. In most cases we end up not doing anything...
Anyways, nonetheless I still love doing nothing with them.
Do do doooo..
Time to crack down on my Stats !!!!!
... Should be a ball.

Crying out to you

Savior, please take my hand
I work so hard, I live so fast
This life begins, and then it ends
And I do the best that I can, but I don't know how long I'll last

I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please keep saving me

Savior, please help me stand
I fall so hard, I fade so fast
Will You begin right where I end
And be the God of all I am because You're all I have

Hallelujah
Everything You are to me
Is everything I'll ever need
And I am learning to believe
That I don't have to prove a thing
'Cause You're the one who's saving me

Big Bang Theory

You always make me feel better at the end of the day =)
Thanks Dr. Sheldon Cooper

Boom

I WANT TO GO OUTSIDE TO PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
I hate it when the nice weather taunts me =(
ARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Try to be Good Enough

Saviour, please...
keep saving me.

Yours

You picked me up without barely any introduction
You won my heart by a landslide
You tend to do that every time
So, everything I have is Yours now
Even my very life

So, this is what it feels like to live life
So, this is breathing air for the very first time
The Son of man, He came here to give life
And in return He asking for my will
I've Been captured by grace
I'm not going away
I'm Yours to take

When the days are bad...

I still got you

Dear Econ,

What...
Was that?
X_x

Be My Everything

I came across this video after hearing Pastor.. I believe it was Pastor...
Well it was after hearing this song after worship.
I was only really looking for the song but this video stuns me.
It kind of just stopped me from doing whatever I was doing to watch it.
It was as though there was something telling me: Wait. Hold on. Pause for a moment.
Stop.
Take a bit of time to watch it!
Maybe it won't mean anything to you, but ya, thought I'd share it.
I really enjoyed something like this and got me thinking a lot.
Kind of just pulls on my heart strings.

Speak into my life

I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love, the love that you never knew

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13

NOOOOO WAAAAAAAAAY

OMGOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??????????????

BSD!! YA!

WHO WANTS TO COME PARTY WITH MEHH??????
Ya.
I know.
I wouldn't either.

I don't think I'm actually going to go to BSD. I don't even have class that day. However, I have heard so much about it and all that exciting stuff that goes down on BSD. It peaks my interest.
Anyways.
School is done in a couple of days before the start of exams. This just all feels very weird. I really don't feel like school is yet over. I'm pretty glad it is though. I don't think I can handle getting up in the morning any longer for class. Well, I'm just happy these 5 class I have are coming to an end. I'll have a break for a month and then back to school I go. Yaay!!!
Alright that's enough for today. Back to the flowcharts I go.

Love Worth Finding

I have not much
To offer You
Not near what You deserve
But still I come
Because Your cross
Has placed in me my worth

Oh, Christ my King
Of sympathy
Whose wounds secure my peace
Your grace extends
To call me friend
Your mercy sets me free

And I know I'm weak
I know I'm unworthy
To call upon Your name
But because of grace
Because of Your mercy
I stand here unashamed

I can't explain
This kind of love
I'm humbled and amazed
That You'd come down
From heavens heights
And greet me face to face

Here I am at Your feet
In my brokeness complete

It's that time again! Exaaaaaaaaaaaaaams....
EXCEPT!!!!! This time around I'm not study a couple days ahead, but 7 days ahead!!! Let's see how well that goes. I'm not even in the exam yet and I'm already nervous. I do not want to see my grades look ugly anymore. It made me really sad last time around and if it happens again.. NO! STOP! It shan't happen again. I WON'T LET IT.
SO GOD HELP ME FOCUS!!!!

I just want school to be over really. I really want to get down onto planning for VBS. I'm just really really really excited. I have 2 of the greatest people to work with and I'm just really happy it's them =)
When JC asked me if I wanted to help out for summer camp... i don't think i quite registered that as being on the camp committee. I don't think I quite registered that 'til I made that announcement for Candy Grams, it wasn't until i sat back down did i realize I was on the camp committee. What I'm trying to say is... absolutely nothing. I just didn't really register all this until a later date.
I'm just really excited to see what God has planned for these two ministries I'm currently in. It's been a real blessing for God to place me into these ministries.

WELLLLLLLL. Right now... it's time to crack the whip upon myself to get things done.
Hurray?

Day 30

Where do you think you’ll be in 5 years?

Hmmm... probably, hopefully done university... and career searching... or maybe i'll even have a job!

And that's it!! 30 days, done and over with =)

Day 29

Write about any particular habits/mannerisms that you have.

Lip biting... Nail ripping.



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BH

And hold on to what's being held out
The healing hand of God

Your love has always covered me

I search for You God of strength
I bow to You in my brokenness
And no other King could have so humbly come
To save my soul and heal my heart
I have nothing more than all You offer me
There is nothing else that’s of worth to me
And I love You Lord
You rescued me
You are all that I want
You’re all that I need
I pray to You God of peace
I rest in You my cares released

Day 28

If you had three wishes, what would they be?

More wishes?? Nahhh...
If you got Jesus, you ain't need no wishes... since....

-breaks out in song-
JESUS TAKE THE WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL
TAKE IT FROM MY HANDS
CAUSE I CAN'T DO THIS ON MY OWN

I do have wishes though which are...

1) I wish to find a goal, a career to aim towards
2) I wish to be more confident and bold
3) I wish to not be socially awkward =)

I just know that these things will happen in time... or I'll just be socially awkward all my life..... Which I wouldn't say is very pleasant....
Anyways....

Cool story bro

No.
Not funny.
And DISLIKE.
I cannot stand it when people use that phrase.
Cool story bro.
I don't know what it is about it, but it erks me.
Makes me want to....
(Dear Dana,
Refrain from acts of violence... even inside your head.
Kkthnxbai)
But yes.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....
SO MUCH DISLIKE.
That's all.

Good day.

Day 27

Where is somewhere you would want to visit?

Ummmmmmmmmmmmm...............
Paris

Day 26

Write about something you once loved, but now despise.

I used to love running because I thought I was super fast. Faster than everyone...
Then people beat me.
I despise it now.
The end!

Day 25

Write a letter to someone you miss.

Dear G,
I miss you more than words can say. I don't think I can post up my letter to you but know you're always crossing my thoughts here and there.
I don't want my heart to break any more when you do cross my mind though.
I love you. Always.

Love,
Dana

twabu

gb

Day 24

How was your week been?

Meh.

Dear you.

I'm not sure exactly how I feel about you...
Sooooo, i'mma pray now and love every bit of you despite how I really want to feel about you.

Day 23

Describe what you spend most of your time on.

Internet. That's about it =(

Manstration

I seriously think that it is a real thing.
There is no doubt in my mind.

Turtleee

Wish that was what happened to mahh turtle!!!!
Hmm... I want to watch Ponyo! I thinks I will do that now.

Day 22

What made you smile the most today?

Teehee, Courtney said H-null in the same way Xuey would. Made me laugh and smile =)

Day 21

How has your life changed over the past year?

Hmmm...
I'd say it has changed quite a bit. Not really in terms of how I look, more like the way I think. It was quite the challenge to go to church regularly due to some... issues I had with myself, and so that is a drastic change for me. It may not seem that way to yooooou... but for me it's a big step. These reasons remain confidential... lol.
Let's see, I can say that I like myself better. That's another step in life that is quite the change. It's not like I didn't like the way I looked or whatever, it was more of a... I wasn't quite comfortable in my own skin. I felt very awkward (not that I don't now, just less) around people, I didn't know quite what to say... ya.
Coming to know Jesus more, to know God more were steps in my life that made me happier, and stronger. So ya!

I know I missed a day..... but whatever, BITE ME!

Guarded

Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.

Proverbs 4:23

I've Got You

When I know I'm not alone,
and I have You by my side to walk with me....
It's not so bad when I close my eyes
and really think about it.
I can't be alone if You're there.

It was You, it is You, and will always be You.

5... 4... 3... 2...

Oh.
Here we go again.

Day 20

What did you eat today?

I aaaaaaaateee... some french toast, peanut butter samich, scrambled eggs, and that's all so far for today. The french toast and scrambled eggs were made by brother-mom, fanks duuude.

Day 19

Write about your last birthday and how you plan to spend your upcoming birthday.

My birthday was pretty cool. I don't recall actually doing something on my birthday aside from turning 18. Mmm... The birthday party I had was a whole different story though. It was not a very good day, it started out great... but ya.... it didn't go so well near the end. Not at all.. >_>

My upcoming birthday... To be honest... after last year's lesson, I don't really want to do anything. I might just do something with F4, MK, JF, JD, and TF and maybe a couple others too since people from out of town are coming back.. and most of all my favorite Ailin is back!! I miss them peoples <3
I'm not exactly excited to turn 19 so... we'll keep things on the dl.

Among the Thirsty

Blue skies above
Oceans below
Nobody else in between
Catching my breath
Seeing Your face
No longer just in my dreams

I wanna stay here
Lost in Your shadow
Safe from the battle
Oh, I want to stay here
With You forever
This is where I want to be

Holding my hand
Finally free
I see forever from here
Where I'm alive
Where I belong
Where everything else disappears

...

Inside your arms
I am safe and I'm secure
With all that You've done
How could I ever ask for more?

Dear little 15 year olds....

We live in Calgary.
Yes.
I just had to point that out in case you all forgot.
Calgary has weather PMS, you should know that by now!
THAT MEAAAAANSS....
Just cause it's been kinda nice out for a few days, it does NOT, I repeat... NOT, mean that it will stay that way for the next few days.
SO PUT SOME CLOTHES ON.
It's still snowing outside, and your bare legs will not like you for what you put them through...
That also means.... WEAR A JACKET, a hoodie will simply not do.
That is all.
Kkthnxbai.

Day 18

Post one confession/secret.

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Day 17

Bullet your day.

- Woke up
- Did my normal bathroom routine
- Ate yogurt
- Faye picked me up
- Went to Sociology
- Went to Religion
- Microwaved my food
- Hung out at TFD Library with Tammy
- Hung out with Kitty, Courtney, Jeff til class started
- Went to CompSci
- Kitty's mom drove me home
- Sitting here blogging

THAT'S ALL

MULAAAAN

Aweee

What Are Words..

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then it's on
When it's love
Yeah, you see them as lover's words
They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

And I know an angel would say
Just from me and now know I'm meant
To be where I am and I'm gonna be
Standing right beside her tonight And I'm gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then it's off
When it's love
Yeah, you see them as lover's words
They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

I'm forever keeping my angel close

Day 16

Upload a picture of your room and talk about your room.



This is a picture of my old room. It actually looks almost like my new room without all the posters. I don't feel comfortable posting pictures of my new room lol. Anyways. I loved this room. Actually, we'll call it MY ROOM because it was... the one place I always felt the safest. My room... was the place to be... for me =)
I prayed there, I cried there, I called my crush there, I acted like a fool there, I expressed my anger there, I let everything out in my room. It was the one place I never had to hide who I was. It was the one place I could just... be me, have some me time... and feel safe. Safe as in, it was the place I knew no one could judge me for being me, it gave me time to think about things and yaaa... I spent maybe 13 years of my life in that room. It was a good room, my favorite place to be at the end of the day.. The place where I could shut myself from the world and create my very own world to hide. The place where I could lie in bed, look up at the ceiling and create pictures from the little dots there and let loose my imaginative canons hahaha.
I miss that room a lot actually. I never wanted to move away from my old house. I didn't want to leave that room and move into a new foreign room. I didn't want to leave the only place I thought I could call home.

Day 15

Write about something you worry about a lot.

I worry a lot about what I'm going to do as a career.. or rather, what I want to do with my life.
It's a never ending cycle with that topic =(

Day 14

Post your favorite book, favorite movie, favorite band, and favorite food.

Favorite book: I don't really have a favorite book... I do have a favorite series though. I haven't been reading for a very long time, sooo it's still the Pendragon series. I love those kinds of books that take me on an adventure, and allows me to use my imagination to explore.

Favorite movie: Again, I don't have a favorite movie. I think... a movie I would watch again because I like it so much is A Millionaire's First Love. It's a sad movie that I just really really enjoy. Hmm... Or Spirited Away. Or the Inuyasha movie Affections Touching Across Time hehe

Favorite Band: Again, again, I don't have a favorite band. BUT, I've been listening to a lot of Starfield lately

Favorite Food: I love them potatoes =)

Arms of Love

My heart is glad that You've called me Your own.
There's no place I'd rather be than
In Your arms of love,
In Your arms of love.
Holding me still, holding me near,
In Your arms of love.

Cause You're the only one who would never hurt me.

Day 13

What are your plans for the future? Far and near.

I really just want to find something I could enjoy doing as a job and work towards something... since motivation and goals are something that don't seem to be of existence as of now.
Other things.... just the typical, get married, have kids, travel a bit here and there. Get a house and car.
I dunno, just the regular stuff.

Day 12

Write about the worst day of your life.

May 31, 2010, that's all


For he has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one;
he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help
Psalm 22:24

Day 11

Write about the best day of your life.

Best day of my life? Finding Jesus. BEST DAY EVAR =D
Praise the Lord!!!


But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,
and all these things will be given to you as well.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow,
for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:33-34

Day 10

What’s the meanest thing anyone has ever said to you?

This actually happened yesterday.
My student called me a witch =(
I felt very sad.
Little children are so mean.
Why can't we all just love each other?


I really like Dr. Seuss stuff =)

Day 9

What’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to you?

You suck.




I'm kidding.
I can't think of just one really nice thing someone said to me... But I think one of the things that I thought were very nice for people to say to me, was to just to let me know if I ever needed anything, they would be there for me =)


Mmmmhmmm =)

Day 8

How do you feel today?

I feel pretty darn happy =) Kinda tired, but overall, it was a good day.


Daawwwwww

Day 7

Upload a recent picture of you.


=)
I didn't want to be in the picture alone =P

Day 6

When was the last time you cried?

It was pretty recent. I think... a couple days ago over a movie... i think...
hahaha I don't actually remember.

Day 5

Write about a period of time in your life where things were not so good.

Well, going back to yesterday's mention of not-so-good stuff.. it was a time last year starting around march, maybe even earlier actually. Things seemed to keep spiraling downwards and just when I thought things couldn't get any worse.. it did.
I think it was a time where it really hit me... it hit me hard that you have appreciate the people around you. Really really appreciate them. Every time I think about it... my heart breaks, the effects of those months were tremendously painful.
It went from family issues to loosing someone that I never knew was so close to my heart and it hurts me every single time knowing that I didn't realize how much I was missing until the day I lost that someone.
It was also a time God opened my eyes, broadened my horizon. Looking back now, before any of those things happened I don't think I would have been able to comprehend or even have tried to understand it. It's not that I understand them fully now, but I feel like if certain events didn't happen in that last year I would have missed an important stage in my life and moments with God like I have never known, or thought I would have cared about.
Those not-so-good periods of my life always seemed to have an outcome where I can grow stronger as a person, stronger as a believer, always, always, when I leaned on God and just yearned for it.
God is so good. Even in the times where I felt I couldn't move on from... He'll always find a way to help, heck I think He'd just create His own way out for you.
=)

Day 4

Before I start some day 4 stuff, I just found some more blogs to follow =)
haha, I wonder I should tell them my blog just to be courteous..

Write about a period of time in your life where things seemed to be constantly going good.

Hm. So I think this would be last year during the summer. Starting around June and the constantly going good thing ended around.... i'm not sure haha. I thought that after some depressing stuff with family and such I really didn't think I would find myself in such a good place... I really didn't. The events that happened for a good solid few months of not-so-good things felt never ending.
Fortunately... God is good. He really is. I don't think I could have escaped that cycle if it weren't for the grace of God. I really felt like losing it. I really felt like I just couldn't take it anymore. And... God really doesn't give you things that are more then you can handle.
So back to constantly good stuff. I was in a good place with God, a place where seeking became everything I wanted and everything I needed to make me better, and God doesn't fail you when you try to find Him. I was in a good place with my relationships. A fantastic man found me and everything was going so well. My friends were all here, we hung out and had a good time.
It was a blissful few months.


What a cutie pie ♥

Day 3

If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you want to do?

Hmm... I would want to do a lot of things. Come to think of it... many people would have a lot of things they would want to do. What a stupid answer lol
Anyways.
In 24 hours, if accomplishable, I would like to tell all my loved ones how much they mean to me, tell all my non-believer loved ones about God, pray for a miracle that I won't have to die in 24 hours lol, eat my favorite foods, go bungee jumping, ride a motorcycle....
This is actually really hard to think of. Soooo ya... That's all I can come up with for now

Day 2

Write about the best friends you’ve had over the years.

Hmm...
Grade 2-6: 3 wonderful ladies(A,T,M), made my elementary years fantastic, memorable and just plain awesome. I think that this relationship was one of the first strongest attachments I have ever had. I missed them a lot, and was quite sad when the friendship was no longer able to sustain any longer. I'm still glad they were a part of my life in such a way that made those years ones of the best memories I have.

Grade 9-forever: F4
I love you ladies. Honestly, you guys complete my embarrassing self.... well, you just make it less... I have to say, A, C, K, are the funniest people, and overall exciting people to be around. I can say that there is never a dull moment. I want to say that I was a good friend to them, but from time to time I really doubt myself. Man, I don't know where I'd be without those 3. From the time where I was socially awkward, they still accepted me with open arms. I love them so much. I'm so blessed to have such people in life, who will always be there for me, listen to me, care about me. I have to thank God for such wonderful people.

T: You are great. We've had our moments and you really are something else. Something awesome. For me being so quiet from time to time, you make up the empty space. I'm glad I gots you in my life. You are definitely one of the best people, one of my best friends as much as it is hard for me to say.

F: We're cousins, but you are a undeniably one of my best friends. You were always there for me, thin and thick and I'm glad we have that family tie. Blood is thicker than water baby =)

D: You've come to be my best friend, the one I lean on and from time to time throw my burdens at. I can't think of anyone out there that's better for me, and there really isn't. God has blessed me with you, a best friend who I can share my thoughts, feelings... and almost everything with.

The Big J: NO, it is not that guy from some of my classes. It's obviously Jesus =)
What can I say? Best friend til the end and even after that. There's no explanation needed as to why He's my best friend.

Wow, I just love you all <3

Day 1

Post 15 facts about yourself.
1. I love hoodies
2. I really like buying sneakers. It makes me happy
3. I loooove potatoes.. usually
4. Currently, Big Bang Theory is very addictive
5. I love Kingdom Hearts
6. I love sappy love movies
7. I would very much like to hang out with my family more
8. I just freakishly love God
9. Despite being in University... I don't know what I'm doing with my life
10. I dislike mushrooms, they are ew
11. When I get a dog... the name will be Mr. Hoon if it's a boy... I have yet to think of one for a girl puppsy
12. Driving and me... we have our days where we love each other one moment and..... not so much the next
13. I have a terrible sense of direction... and I'm terrible at describing things
14. I really want to learn to cook
15. I'm a sucker for these stupid 30 day things, and answering questionnaires that take forever

Look Up

I don't know what the future holds,
but I know who holds the future

Everything

When every moment is more than I can take
And all of my strength is slipping away
When every breath gets harder to breathe
You carry me, Jesus carry me

You Are strength in my weakness
You are the refuge I seek
You are everything in my time of need
You are everything, You are everything I need

I need You
You are everything I need
I love everything about You

NIJ

I know we'll be in a good place, and I know we'll be okay.
You're wonderful =)

Section 9.2

The only the thing that matters is Your love

Ka POW

AHHH WORK HABIT.
I BEG OF YOU
SNAP OUT OF WORKLESS MODE

=(

Sleep don't like me

Waking up every 50 or so mins is so not cool.
Ughhhh... what's wrong with me?
Reading week is where I catch sufficient amounts of sleep in order to bear the next couple of months of school.
Actually. I really need to get on that studying thing, I wasted all of today doing nothing.
My excuse is that I wasn't feeling well so i was given a right (by myself of course) to do nothing.
Hurray.
Not so much. Maybe this loafing in bed had something to do with not being able to sleep now.
GAY.

I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away

I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave...
I never leave Your hands

I can't get this song out of my head.
I never want to leave those hands.
The only things that keep me still.
I love you, God.

I Live to Worship You

Nothing is impossible for You...
You hold my world in Your hands.

Sleep = { }

I can't sleep.
soooo i'll just write a little blurb.
I was listening to Anthony talk about road directions today for sunday school and there was one thing that really struck out. He brought up how if there are some things in our lives that we believe we should let go, but it feels uncomfortable and slightly awkward to do so, it's probably the right thing to do. It's just that... as I was thinking back on... memories, what he said is true. For the times when I was unsure of what to do in a situation, and i had to decide to keep holding on to that certain thing, or let it go... letting go turned out to be very difficult, very uncomfortable. It's like uncertainty just clouded my mind. In the end, it turned out to be the right decision, the right thing, the right path to take. Taking that path not only led me to something greater, it turned out to be one of the best things that happened to me.
To get to where God wants me to be, I have to be aware of my caution signs, take a good look at what I'm doing, and turn around to find the right path.
I don't know where I'm going. It's scary not knowing which direction you're going in life, where's it's headed and what's really planned for me. Well. David keeps pressing this on me, and I'm really glad he does. Who holds my future? God does. When in doubt, look to Jesus, the answer's right in front of me.
Sometimes, I wonder how i can be such a blind fool.
Soooo... in the mean time, I just have to trust that in due time, God will show me the way. I won't run away... okay, so i'll try really hard not to. Running away is such an easy thing to do but just cause it's easy, doesn't mean it's the right path.

Man. I just love you, Lord.

Sunday school has been great. I love learning things I can apply to my life.
The bottom line?
Intentions don't bring us to our destination

So.... Quiet.... T_T

I've come to the conclusion that I never, ever, want to live alone T_T
It is very unpleasant.
On the other hand, being the nice sister I am, I shoveled the driveway! =D I never want to do that again. Snow is really heavy. Especially when there's so much of it. I was sweating a lot after it, Whew. It was definitely a work out, I will feel the burns tomorrow morning.
So... as much as I should be studying right now, this empty house is making me feel rather uncomfortable and unwilling to work. Actually. I'll just throw on some music and hope that my brother comes home soon.
OKAY, that is all!

One Step at a Time

When I'm asking for what You want from me, I guess I was always expecting something extravagant. I don't know, but I think I wasn't looking in the right places when I asked. I learned that it's a process that happens one step at a time. Things don't just happen right away, they will gradually become more clear to me and it's all in God's timing.... not mine. Thank God for that.
Be patient and wait. You've pushed things into my heart and all I have to do... is listen. That's all. You'll do the rest.
Man, I just love You so much, God.

Hm. So, I realize that... trying to curl my hair when it's short... doesn't turn out too well. It was like waking up to a giant ball of fluff, quite literally. Actually, it was quite funny so I didn't wash it out because of the hilarity.

There's one thing I really miss... and that would be dim sum with the family. I remember I would go after service every Sunday with some of the family and we'd go have the dim sum at Regency Place. I remember getting really sick of going there, but now... I just really miss it. I miss family time actually. I miss spending time with my cousins, hanging out and just chillin. But... some of them are just too cool for me now haha. But, I'm thankful, like REALLY REALLY thankful that them kids are all relatively on the right path. I'm glad I was able to smack some good morals into them as children. I still worry about them though. Actually. I'm really just talking about 2 of my cousins haha.

Surprisingly enough. I've begun to study days before my tests. THIS IS AN ACCOMPLISHMENT. Like really. This hasn't happened for many years and I feel proud BUT I know I shouldn't get too proud because that would be bad. I hope that this studying pays off because if it doesn't, I know I'll go into my: oh-studying-doesn't-work-so-I-just-shouldn't-study-and-slack mode. SOOOOOO let's all make sure I don't go back into that phase.

Today was a good day and... DY, you're amazing. Thanks for today =)

My Covenant God

You're my encouragement, the one and only who will ever fill the void.

I know how I can stray
And how fast my heart could change
Empty me
Of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition
And the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me
So I can be
Filled with you

Put Your Light in my eyes and let me see

Have a Listen

Don't know where to begin
Its like my world's caving in
And I try but I can't control my fear
Where do I go from here?

Sometimes it's so hard to pray
When You feel so far away
But I am willing to go
Where you want me to
God, I trust You

The first few lines just sums up a lot of the things that are going through my mind... the anxiety that sometimes stirs up.
Maybe it's that I just don't feel good enough about myself... There's more than just that. More that suffocates me from time to time.
But ahh... yes.
Trust.
Let go.
A repetition of these words have been rolling around.

Here Goes - Bebo Norman
Here goes nothing
Here goes everything
Gotta reach for something
Or you'll fall for anything

Take a breath, take a step
What comes next
God only knows

Oh! And dinner tonight... was a total failure on my part =(
Anyways. Good night all <3

Miss you already

COME BACK!!!
It's only been a day...
And I have never felt less healthy T_T
-cries-
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO WITHOUT YOU???
DARN YOU FROZEN VEGETABLES >_>

Anyways.
I just had a great time learning a new song on the guitar.
Twas great it was =D
Now back to studying =(
I have never tried so hard to study for something as insignificant as a quiz.
AHHH
Tis difficult to focus. I think there is something terribly wrong with me.
=( I think it's all these years of not focusing on doing hw/studying, thinking I can just wing it.... It's built up so bad that I'm so used to these habits that it's freakishly hard to break away from.
I'M STILL TRYING. AND PRAISE THE LORD FOR KEEPING ME AT IT
Oh how I love you.
BACK TO WORK I GO

Move

Determination is deciding it's worth it to finish what you've started.
Bottom line: Keep doing what you should do because God says you can.
Can I get a thumbs up?

Man... I'm quite loving the KFC here.
I'm just reading through the lesson that I'm suppose to have for the kids today and... to be put in this ministry has been such a blessing for me.
So far, the lessons I'm suppose to cover has in some way been a lesson for me too.
Biblical stories, passages and such are things I would like to know more about. They are things that I also want to learn, and I guess I just missed out a lot of that as a kid.
It's not just KFC I'm enjoying, but going to Sunday School has been something I look forward to... unlike before haha. For the things that I am involved in or been apart of, KFC, the worship team, sunday school, C&C... I've been loving it.
To be honest, it's been a struggle in many aspects, and I won't specify how but God knows what's goin on. In some ways I guess my patience has run thin, and I just really want to be a stronger person and step out of my shell.
I don't just want to believe that God has something for me, I want to know that God does have plans for me, and I don't want other thoughts to sway me from that.
No matter how difficult the road... I want to keep walking.

I want to hold the hand that holds the world

Closer

Everything I do just feels the same
Spending my life out in the desert
Then gone so long feels like forever

I just want to be closer to You
I just want to be closer, I am Yours
You can have all of me anything, everything
I just want to be closer

Absolutely

Only You have all of me
I cannot contain my adoration
I'm in love so desperately

No one is as lovely as You are
There is no one else who has my heart

Jesus You have me completely
Every breath I breathe
I am absolutely in love

Number 12

And I love You Lord
You rescued me
You are all that I want
You’re all that I need

Smtcmm. svmt. Gwaigtdwat? Isoomm. Smtw. Idwath.... ttikich. Aiktywnlalthtm. Walttich... bijrc.. wmoadwth. HmLG. Pdlthtm. Is. G... bwm.
IslyDY. Iihtba, ljstIgiwwy. Ilysm. Rat.

You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same

Lalalala

School.... doesn't like me

Or maybe it's the other way around too.
But that is all I have to say.

Just a Pass

THAT'S ALL I NEED A PASS!!!!!
I PROMISE I WILL WORK SOOO SOOO SOOO SOOO HARD IN 217 I PROMISE!!!!!!
T_T
THAT WILL BE MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION.
I have seen and felt the fruits of my sad sad procrastination.
NO MORE.
Now all i have to do is wait for Monday. I can see my hope growing... and I don't like it that it is.
-deep breath-
Through all this I've been growing increasingly frustrated with myself... and with God. I know I shouldn't be, but it's just been hard to skew my emotions differently... especially when I think too much about certain things and breaks me down. It gets out of hand. Praying and just having little moments to really think about it and calming myself down has helped. I can't keep bottling this stress up. It's taking a toll on me.
"What's been done is done, you can't change anything now... there's no point in worrying." I understand. I do. I really do. But even though I know this, and I totally get it... I can't seem to follow through with the not worrying part. Once I start worrying... I just can't get out of that endless loop.
And this is where a phrase hits me over the head:

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
Matthew 6:27

I guess things just take a while for it to sink in. Realizing just isn't enough for me. It's got to be more of an understanding. Along with all this, I need to learn to cut back the bad thoughts that I keep having come at me. I have no idea how this is going to work... but i think it's essential to my health haha.
This month has been hectic. I can't wait for school to just end.
I've been thinking recently... I keep asking, and I keep wondering about what my future holds. Where am I going to go after taking business? Where's my place in this world? It's a lost, confusing, treacherous thing to have in the back of my mind all the time. Sooo here's what popped up:

"Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for him . . ."
Psalm 37:7

I really have to STOP WORRYING and BE PATIENT and know that these answers will come in time. As much as I am anticipating for these answers... it will come.
I guess with all the things that's been going on, God's just been telling me that I need to understand these things through my own experiences. It's not just have other people tell me, and push me... but just coming to terms that there are a lot of things that in order for me to grow, I have to get through these kinds of obstacles. I really want to grow.
I see so many people around me, so strong in God. And I just want to be like them. I want to have that confidence that holds them close to God, to trust God even through the tough times, to know that God has something bigger in store for them.
I really want to rely on other people to help me with that but I think there are things that I really have to get there myself. Through my own will overcoming my fleshly desires.

It was just last night that I was listening to this song and as my math exam was going on it just kept replaying and replaying. It's called: Something to Say - Starfield
I've got something to say
What was black and white is gray
When I'm finding it hard to believe in You
...
And faith might mean there won't be answers
And hope might mean enduring through the night
But help me not forget in darkness
The things that I believed in light
It has been very easy to seek out God but I have to admit that it's been incredibly hard to trust in God to have that faith. I'm getting tired of fighting this by myself. It's getting... too much for me. I'm tired of the long nights struggling with myself and getting no where.

I want my soul to burn when I hear Your name
I want to feel like new
I want to hunger for you
Bring me back to life like only You can do
Cause I don’t want to stay the same

You told me
Look for You and I will find
So I’m here
Like I’m searching for the first time
Revive me, Jesus
Make this cold heart start to move
Help me rediscover You
Rediscover You - Starfield

Like fo srs

School has never been more tough.
I'm scared out of my mind I'm not going to pass.
This has got to be the first time where i'm worried about school.
After my exam today, it's out of my control... I have to trust.
Like... fo realz T_T

I don't know what the title should be

I tried to figure it out
Time and time again and time again
I guess there's just some things I'll never understand
'Cause Your ways aren't our ways

I can't think straight.
The things that are going through my mind cause me to see things without good judgment. My thoughts are distorted and I don't feel so good.
I hate feeling like this. I hate that I can't find the right words to say or the right way to act.
It's so tempting to just give up. I want to just give up everything so that I don't have to feel this way.
I'm so distracted by these thoughts.

I don't think there is going to be sleep for me tonight.

I'm leaning on this verse for the rest of the way...
"Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3:5-6

Loaded up

It really doesn't feel like I have enough time to do everything, and I can't seem to understand the homework that I have to do. This is all becoming very overwhelming. I want an outlet where I can just let out all this stress so I can continue with all of this. Argh...

I'm not looking forward to my finals, I'm no where near prepared, and the more I think about it the more I want to shrink away. A friend of mine has pretty much given up on school, and his giving up attitude is quite infectious.... but I can't give up. I don't think I could let that happen. However... i'm very very close to slipping. I don't know what to do, it's so frustrating.

God, give me the strength to work at this. It's not the most important thing in my life... but I really want to get through this. I feel so unmotivated, so lacking in everything I'm doing. I need Your strength. I want You. I need You.

'Cause we can't fool ourselves,
into someone else's heart

Poopsicle

Ignore ignore ignore ignore ignore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's more to say?

Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross

N'Sync

The memories I remember the most vividly are the ones from my childhood. I miss so much of the things that I use to do, I use to have. Oh man... to relive those days for just a while... it would be so awesome. Running around in the snow with my snowsuit, actually enjoying the winter, enjoying the outdoors... how different it was back then. I sometimes wish I never came to know electronics. Flying down the big hill by my house on my bike with my arms high up in the air without a care in the world. Running on the field til I got too tired. Playing soccer and getting winded leading me to vow to never touch a soccer ball ever again (I actually really like soccer). Man, what happened to me?
I miss talking on the phone, flashing each other so we could all have a conversation together... and later getting in trouble for spending too much money on it. It was worth it. Going over to my friend's house to just hang out, bike and get slurpees. I miss sitting around talking about boys and how stupid they were, playing pranks on our friends, causing a ruckus in out neighborhood. I miss the innocence, the moments where it really didn't matter where we were as long as we had fun and no matter what, we were busy doing something. I miss having so many friends that I could do anything with. We never judged each other for acting too immature or too crazy. I miss that the most. Over time it's like a line was drawn for the certain ways I can act, restrictions.
Time passed by too quickly.

Green, Pink, Orange, Magenta, Yellow

But Your love
Your love
The only the thing that matters is Your love
Your love is all I have to give
Your love is enough to light up the darkness
It’s Your love
Your love
all I ever needed is Your love

You know the effort I have given
And you know exactly what it cost
And though my innocence was taken
Not everything is lost

School is killing me!!!!!
I'M SO TIRED T_T
When will you stop? =(
I really need to pick it up a notch.
I never really had to study to do okay and pass
BUT NOW IT'S SO DIFFERENT, WHY UNI... WHY???
But on the plus side i finally quit kumon =)
FINALLY.
Last day is next week, it shall be an exciting last day there.
It's been..... a long time since i started complaining about it, and now it is over and done with.
Wow, it sure takes me a ridiculously long time to do things =P

I really want to fix up my schedule and take some other options.. but it doesn't seem like the way i put my schedule earlier allows me to change it.

Well...
This was an extremely pointless blog lol.
BYE!

Webwork... you suck

WAH!!!
So Uni is finally showing it's true colours... or I'm just starting to feel really overwhelmed because I feel like I want to do well. That hasn't happened for a very long time. This motivation to do well in school, and to actually DO my homework that no one is checking. It's a strange thing.
And who else can I thank other than God! I've been praying to feel motivated to not leave things to the last minute, study hard in order to do well. I have no idea how well i will do on my quizzes but whatever it is I feel like I'm doing something right by just doing work and such.
I really hope that I can make it back in time from Hawaii to write my quiz. I don't want to take a 0%... it'll crush me and make me feel really bad. JIM STALLARD!!! PLEASE BE UNDERSTANDING!!!!!!! I'll talk to you again on weds T_T

I think that it's time I quit my job at Kumon. I've been meaning to do that... for oh.. I don't know... 2 years now? haha... The things I get done in life >_> When you go to work with as if it was the biggest burden in your life... I think it's time to move on and leave it behind. So... For those reading, please don't let me change my mind on this subject.

OKAY
BACK TO MATH I GO