When every moment is more than I can take
And all of my strength is slipping away
When every breath gets harder to breathe
You carry me, Jesus carry me
You Are strength in my weakness
You are the refuge I seek
You are everything in my time of need
You are everything, You are everything I need
I need You
You are everything I need
I love everything about You
Friday, March 04, 2011
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Sleep don't like me
Waking up every 50 or so mins is so not cool.
Ughhhh... what's wrong with me?
Reading week is where I catch sufficient amounts of sleep in order to bear the next couple of months of school.
Actually. I really need to get on that studying thing, I wasted all of today doing nothing.
My excuse is that I wasn't feeling well so i was given a right (by myself of course) to do nothing.
Hurray.
Not so much. Maybe this loafing in bed had something to do with not being able to sleep now.
GAY.
I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away
I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave...
I never leave Your hands
I can't get this song out of my head.
I never want to leave those hands.
The only things that keep me still.
I love you, God.
Ughhhh... what's wrong with me?
Reading week is where I catch sufficient amounts of sleep in order to bear the next couple of months of school.
Actually. I really need to get on that studying thing, I wasted all of today doing nothing.
My excuse is that I wasn't feeling well so i was given a right (by myself of course) to do nothing.
Hurray.
Not so much. Maybe this loafing in bed had something to do with not being able to sleep now.
GAY.
I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away
I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...
When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave...
I never leave Your hands
I can't get this song out of my head.
I never want to leave those hands.
The only things that keep me still.
I love you, God.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Sleep = { }
I can't sleep.
soooo i'll just write a little blurb.
I was listening to Anthony talk about road directions today for sunday school and there was one thing that really struck out. He brought up how if there are some things in our lives that we believe we should let go, but it feels uncomfortable and slightly awkward to do so, it's probably the right thing to do. It's just that... as I was thinking back on... memories, what he said is true. For the times when I was unsure of what to do in a situation, and i had to decide to keep holding on to that certain thing, or let it go... letting go turned out to be very difficult, very uncomfortable. It's like uncertainty just clouded my mind. In the end, it turned out to be the right decision, the right thing, the right path to take. Taking that path not only led me to something greater, it turned out to be one of the best things that happened to me.
To get to where God wants me to be, I have to be aware of my caution signs, take a good look at what I'm doing, and turn around to find the right path.
I don't know where I'm going. It's scary not knowing which direction you're going in life, where's it's headed and what's really planned for me. Well. David keeps pressing this on me, and I'm really glad he does. Who holds my future? God does. When in doubt, look to Jesus, the answer's right in front of me.
Sometimes, I wonder how i can be such a blind fool.
Soooo... in the mean time, I just have to trust that in due time, God will show me the way. I won't run away... okay, so i'll try really hard not to. Running away is such an easy thing to do but just cause it's easy, doesn't mean it's the right path.
Man. I just love you, Lord.
Sunday school has been great. I love learning things I can apply to my life.
The bottom line?
Intentions don't bring us to our destination
soooo i'll just write a little blurb.
I was listening to Anthony talk about road directions today for sunday school and there was one thing that really struck out. He brought up how if there are some things in our lives that we believe we should let go, but it feels uncomfortable and slightly awkward to do so, it's probably the right thing to do. It's just that... as I was thinking back on... memories, what he said is true. For the times when I was unsure of what to do in a situation, and i had to decide to keep holding on to that certain thing, or let it go... letting go turned out to be very difficult, very uncomfortable. It's like uncertainty just clouded my mind. In the end, it turned out to be the right decision, the right thing, the right path to take. Taking that path not only led me to something greater, it turned out to be one of the best things that happened to me.
To get to where God wants me to be, I have to be aware of my caution signs, take a good look at what I'm doing, and turn around to find the right path.
I don't know where I'm going. It's scary not knowing which direction you're going in life, where's it's headed and what's really planned for me. Well. David keeps pressing this on me, and I'm really glad he does. Who holds my future? God does. When in doubt, look to Jesus, the answer's right in front of me.
Sometimes, I wonder how i can be such a blind fool.
Soooo... in the mean time, I just have to trust that in due time, God will show me the way. I won't run away... okay, so i'll try really hard not to. Running away is such an easy thing to do but just cause it's easy, doesn't mean it's the right path.
Man. I just love you, Lord.
Sunday school has been great. I love learning things I can apply to my life.
The bottom line?
Intentions don't bring us to our destination
Monday, February 07, 2011
So.... Quiet.... T_T
I've come to the conclusion that I never, ever, want to live alone T_T
It is very unpleasant.
On the other hand, being the nice sister I am, I shoveled the driveway! =D I never want to do that again. Snow is really heavy. Especially when there's so much of it. I was sweating a lot after it, Whew. It was definitely a work out, I will feel the burns tomorrow morning.
So... as much as I should be studying right now, this empty house is making me feel rather uncomfortable and unwilling to work. Actually. I'll just throw on some music and hope that my brother comes home soon.
OKAY, that is all!
It is very unpleasant.
On the other hand, being the nice sister I am, I shoveled the driveway! =D I never want to do that again. Snow is really heavy. Especially when there's so much of it. I was sweating a lot after it, Whew. It was definitely a work out, I will feel the burns tomorrow morning.
So... as much as I should be studying right now, this empty house is making me feel rather uncomfortable and unwilling to work. Actually. I'll just throw on some music and hope that my brother comes home soon.
OKAY, that is all!
Saturday, February 05, 2011
One Step at a Time
When I'm asking for what You want from me, I guess I was always expecting something extravagant. I don't know, but I think I wasn't looking in the right places when I asked. I learned that it's a process that happens one step at a time. Things don't just happen right away, they will gradually become more clear to me and it's all in God's timing.... not mine. Thank God for that.
Be patient and wait. You've pushed things into my heart and all I have to do... is listen. That's all. You'll do the rest.
Man, I just love You so much, God.
Hm. So, I realize that... trying to curl my hair when it's short... doesn't turn out too well. It was like waking up to a giant ball of fluff, quite literally. Actually, it was quite funny so I didn't wash it out because of the hilarity.
There's one thing I really miss... and that would be dim sum with the family. I remember I would go after service every Sunday with some of the family and we'd go have the dim sum at Regency Place. I remember getting really sick of going there, but now... I just really miss it. I miss family time actually. I miss spending time with my cousins, hanging out and just chillin. But... some of them are just too cool for me now haha. But, I'm thankful, like REALLY REALLY thankful that them kids are all relatively on the right path. I'm glad I was able to smack some good morals into them as children. I still worry about them though. Actually. I'm really just talking about 2 of my cousins haha.
Surprisingly enough. I've begun to study days before my tests. THIS IS AN ACCOMPLISHMENT. Like really. This hasn't happened for many years and I feel proud BUT I know I shouldn't get too proud because that would be bad. I hope that this studying pays off because if it doesn't, I know I'll go into my: oh-studying-doesn't-work-so-I-just-shouldn't-study-and-slack mode. SOOOOOO let's all make sure I don't go back into that phase.
Today was a good day and... DY, you're amazing. Thanks for today =)
Be patient and wait. You've pushed things into my heart and all I have to do... is listen. That's all. You'll do the rest.
Man, I just love You so much, God.
Hm. So, I realize that... trying to curl my hair when it's short... doesn't turn out too well. It was like waking up to a giant ball of fluff, quite literally. Actually, it was quite funny so I didn't wash it out because of the hilarity.
There's one thing I really miss... and that would be dim sum with the family. I remember I would go after service every Sunday with some of the family and we'd go have the dim sum at Regency Place. I remember getting really sick of going there, but now... I just really miss it. I miss family time actually. I miss spending time with my cousins, hanging out and just chillin. But... some of them are just too cool for me now haha. But, I'm thankful, like REALLY REALLY thankful that them kids are all relatively on the right path. I'm glad I was able to smack some good morals into them as children. I still worry about them though. Actually. I'm really just talking about 2 of my cousins haha.
Surprisingly enough. I've begun to study days before my tests. THIS IS AN ACCOMPLISHMENT. Like really. This hasn't happened for many years and I feel proud BUT I know I shouldn't get too proud because that would be bad. I hope that this studying pays off because if it doesn't, I know I'll go into my: oh-studying-doesn't-work-so-I-just-shouldn't-study-and-slack mode. SOOOOOO let's all make sure I don't go back into that phase.
Today was a good day and... DY, you're amazing. Thanks for today =)
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
My Covenant God
You're my encouragement, the one and only who will ever fill the void.
I know how I can stray
And how fast my heart could change
Empty me
Of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition
And the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me
So I can be
Filled with you
Put Your Light in my eyes and let me see
I know how I can stray
And how fast my heart could change
Empty me
Of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition
And the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me
So I can be
Filled with you
Put Your Light in my eyes and let me see
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Have a Listen
Don't know where to begin
Its like my world's caving in
And I try but I can't control my fear
Where do I go from here?
Sometimes it's so hard to pray
When You feel so far away
But I am willing to go
Where you want me to
God, I trust You
The first few lines just sums up a lot of the things that are going through my mind... the anxiety that sometimes stirs up.
Maybe it's that I just don't feel good enough about myself... There's more than just that. More that suffocates me from time to time.
But ahh... yes.
Trust.
Let go.
A repetition of these words have been rolling around.
Here Goes - Bebo Norman
Here goes nothing
Here goes everything
Gotta reach for something
Or you'll fall for anything
Take a breath, take a step
What comes next
God only knows
Oh! And dinner tonight... was a total failure on my part =(
Anyways. Good night all <3
Monday, January 24, 2011
Miss you already
COME BACK!!!
It's only been a day...
And I have never felt less healthy T_T
-cries-
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO WITHOUT YOU???
DARN YOU FROZEN VEGETABLES >_>
Anyways.
I just had a great time learning a new song on the guitar.
Twas great it was =D
Now back to studying =(
I have never tried so hard to study for something as insignificant as a quiz.
AHHH
Tis difficult to focus. I think there is something terribly wrong with me.
=( I think it's all these years of not focusing on doing hw/studying, thinking I can just wing it.... It's built up so bad that I'm so used to these habits that it's freakishly hard to break away from.
I'M STILL TRYING. AND PRAISE THE LORD FOR KEEPING ME AT IT
Oh how I love you.
BACK TO WORK I GO
It's only been a day...
And I have never felt less healthy T_T
-cries-
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO WITHOUT YOU???
DARN YOU FROZEN VEGETABLES >_>
Anyways.
I just had a great time learning a new song on the guitar.
Twas great it was =D
Now back to studying =(
I have never tried so hard to study for something as insignificant as a quiz.
AHHH
Tis difficult to focus. I think there is something terribly wrong with me.
=( I think it's all these years of not focusing on doing hw/studying, thinking I can just wing it.... It's built up so bad that I'm so used to these habits that it's freakishly hard to break away from.
I'M STILL TRYING. AND PRAISE THE LORD FOR KEEPING ME AT IT
Oh how I love you.
BACK TO WORK I GO
Friday, January 21, 2011
Move
Determination is deciding it's worth it to finish what you've started.
Bottom line: Keep doing what you should do because God says you can.
Can I get a thumbs up?
Man... I'm quite loving the KFC here.
I'm just reading through the lesson that I'm suppose to have for the kids today and... to be put in this ministry has been such a blessing for me.
So far, the lessons I'm suppose to cover has in some way been a lesson for me too.
Biblical stories, passages and such are things I would like to know more about. They are things that I also want to learn, and I guess I just missed out a lot of that as a kid.
It's not just KFC I'm enjoying, but going to Sunday School has been something I look forward to... unlike before haha. For the things that I am involved in or been apart of, KFC, the worship team, sunday school, C&C... I've been loving it.
To be honest, it's been a struggle in many aspects, and I won't specify how but God knows what's goin on. In some ways I guess my patience has run thin, and I just really want to be a stronger person and step out of my shell.
I don't just want to believe that God has something for me, I want to know that God does have plans for me, and I don't want other thoughts to sway me from that.
No matter how difficult the road... I want to keep walking.
I want to hold the hand that holds the world
Bottom line: Keep doing what you should do because God says you can.
Can I get a thumbs up?
Man... I'm quite loving the KFC here.
I'm just reading through the lesson that I'm suppose to have for the kids today and... to be put in this ministry has been such a blessing for me.
So far, the lessons I'm suppose to cover has in some way been a lesson for me too.
Biblical stories, passages and such are things I would like to know more about. They are things that I also want to learn, and I guess I just missed out a lot of that as a kid.
It's not just KFC I'm enjoying, but going to Sunday School has been something I look forward to... unlike before haha. For the things that I am involved in or been apart of, KFC, the worship team, sunday school, C&C... I've been loving it.
To be honest, it's been a struggle in many aspects, and I won't specify how but God knows what's goin on. In some ways I guess my patience has run thin, and I just really want to be a stronger person and step out of my shell.
I don't just want to believe that God has something for me, I want to know that God does have plans for me, and I don't want other thoughts to sway me from that.
No matter how difficult the road... I want to keep walking.
I want to hold the hand that holds the world
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Closer
Everything I do just feels the same
Spending my life out in the desert
Then gone so long feels like forever
I just want to be closer to You
I just want to be closer, I am Yours
You can have all of me anything, everything
I just want to be closer
Sunday, January 09, 2011
Absolutely
Only You have all of me
I cannot contain my adoration
I'm in love so desperately
No one is as lovely as You are
There is no one else who has my heart
Jesus You have me completely
Every breath I breathe
I am absolutely in love
I cannot contain my adoration
I'm in love so desperately
No one is as lovely as You are
There is no one else who has my heart
Jesus You have me completely
Every breath I breathe
I am absolutely in love
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
Number 12
And I love You Lord
You rescued me
You are all that I want
You’re all that I need
Smtcmm. svmt. Gwaigtdwat? Isoomm. Smtw. Idwath.... ttikich. Aiktywnlalthtm. Walttich... bijrc.. wmoadwth. HmLG. Pdlthtm. Is. G... bwm.
IslyDY. Iihtba, ljstIgiwwy. Ilysm. Rat.
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
Lalalala
You rescued me
You are all that I want
You’re all that I need
Smtcmm. svmt. Gwaigtdwat? Isoomm. Smtw. Idwath.... ttikich. Aiktywnlalthtm. Walttich... bijrc.. wmoadwth. HmLG. Pdlthtm. Is. G... bwm.
IslyDY. Iihtba, ljstIgiwwy. Ilysm. Rat.
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
Lalalala
Friday, December 24, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Just a Pass
THAT'S ALL I NEED A PASS!!!!!
I PROMISE I WILL WORK SOOO SOOO SOOO SOOO HARD IN 217 I PROMISE!!!!!!
T_T
THAT WILL BE MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION.
I have seen and felt the fruits of my sad sad procrastination.
NO MORE.
Now all i have to do is wait for Monday. I can see my hope growing... and I don't like it that it is.
-deep breath-
Through all this I've been growing increasingly frustrated with myself... and with God. I know I shouldn't be, but it's just been hard to skew my emotions differently... especially when I think too much about certain things and breaks me down. It gets out of hand. Praying and just having little moments to really think about it and calming myself down has helped. I can't keep bottling this stress up. It's taking a toll on me.
"What's been done is done, you can't change anything now... there's no point in worrying." I understand. I do. I really do. But even though I know this, and I totally get it... I can't seem to follow through with the not worrying part. Once I start worrying... I just can't get out of that endless loop.
And this is where a phrase hits me over the head:
"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
Matthew 6:27
I guess things just take a while for it to sink in. Realizing just isn't enough for me. It's got to be more of an understanding. Along with all this, I need to learn to cut back the bad thoughts that I keep having come at me. I have no idea how this is going to work... but i think it's essential to my health haha.
This month has been hectic. I can't wait for school to just end.
I've been thinking recently... I keep asking, and I keep wondering about what my future holds. Where am I going to go after taking business? Where's my place in this world? It's a lost, confusing, treacherous thing to have in the back of my mind all the time. Sooo here's what popped up:
"Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for him . . ."
Psalm 37:7
I really have to STOP WORRYING and BE PATIENT and know that these answers will come in time. As much as I am anticipating for these answers... it will come.
I guess with all the things that's been going on, God's just been telling me that I need to understand these things through my own experiences. It's not just have other people tell me, and push me... but just coming to terms that there are a lot of things that in order for me to grow, I have to get through these kinds of obstacles. I really want to grow.
I see so many people around me, so strong in God. And I just want to be like them. I want to have that confidence that holds them close to God, to trust God even through the tough times, to know that God has something bigger in store for them.
I really want to rely on other people to help me with that but I think there are things that I really have to get there myself. Through my own will overcoming my fleshly desires.
It was just last night that I was listening to this song and as my math exam was going on it just kept replaying and replaying. It's called: Something to Say - Starfield
I've got something to say
What was black and white is gray
When I'm finding it hard to believe in You
...
And faith might mean there won't be answers
And hope might mean enduring through the night
But help me not forget in darkness
The things that I believed in light
It has been very easy to seek out God but I have to admit that it's been incredibly hard to trust in God to have that faith. I'm getting tired of fighting this by myself. It's getting... too much for me. I'm tired of the long nights struggling with myself and getting no where.
I want my soul to burn when I hear Your name
I want to feel like new
I want to hunger for you
Bring me back to life like only You can do
Cause I don’t want to stay the same
You told me
Look for You and I will find
So I’m here
Like I’m searching for the first time
Revive me, Jesus
Make this cold heart start to move
Help me rediscover You
Rediscover You - Starfield
I PROMISE I WILL WORK SOOO SOOO SOOO SOOO HARD IN 217 I PROMISE!!!!!!
T_T
THAT WILL BE MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION.
I have seen and felt the fruits of my sad sad procrastination.
NO MORE.
Now all i have to do is wait for Monday. I can see my hope growing... and I don't like it that it is.
-deep breath-
Through all this I've been growing increasingly frustrated with myself... and with God. I know I shouldn't be, but it's just been hard to skew my emotions differently... especially when I think too much about certain things and breaks me down. It gets out of hand. Praying and just having little moments to really think about it and calming myself down has helped. I can't keep bottling this stress up. It's taking a toll on me.
"What's been done is done, you can't change anything now... there's no point in worrying." I understand. I do. I really do. But even though I know this, and I totally get it... I can't seem to follow through with the not worrying part. Once I start worrying... I just can't get out of that endless loop.
And this is where a phrase hits me over the head:
"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
Matthew 6:27
I guess things just take a while for it to sink in. Realizing just isn't enough for me. It's got to be more of an understanding. Along with all this, I need to learn to cut back the bad thoughts that I keep having come at me. I have no idea how this is going to work... but i think it's essential to my health haha.
This month has been hectic. I can't wait for school to just end.
I've been thinking recently... I keep asking, and I keep wondering about what my future holds. Where am I going to go after taking business? Where's my place in this world? It's a lost, confusing, treacherous thing to have in the back of my mind all the time. Sooo here's what popped up:
"Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for him . . ."
Psalm 37:7
I really have to STOP WORRYING and BE PATIENT and know that these answers will come in time. As much as I am anticipating for these answers... it will come.
I guess with all the things that's been going on, God's just been telling me that I need to understand these things through my own experiences. It's not just have other people tell me, and push me... but just coming to terms that there are a lot of things that in order for me to grow, I have to get through these kinds of obstacles. I really want to grow.
I see so many people around me, so strong in God. And I just want to be like them. I want to have that confidence that holds them close to God, to trust God even through the tough times, to know that God has something bigger in store for them.
I really want to rely on other people to help me with that but I think there are things that I really have to get there myself. Through my own will overcoming my fleshly desires.
It was just last night that I was listening to this song and as my math exam was going on it just kept replaying and replaying. It's called: Something to Say - Starfield
I've got something to say
What was black and white is gray
When I'm finding it hard to believe in You
...
And faith might mean there won't be answers
And hope might mean enduring through the night
But help me not forget in darkness
The things that I believed in light
It has been very easy to seek out God but I have to admit that it's been incredibly hard to trust in God to have that faith. I'm getting tired of fighting this by myself. It's getting... too much for me. I'm tired of the long nights struggling with myself and getting no where.
I want my soul to burn when I hear Your name
I want to feel like new
I want to hunger for you
Bring me back to life like only You can do
Cause I don’t want to stay the same
You told me
Look for You and I will find
So I’m here
Like I’m searching for the first time
Revive me, Jesus
Make this cold heart start to move
Help me rediscover You
Rediscover You - Starfield
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Like fo srs
School has never been more tough.
I'm scared out of my mind I'm not going to pass.
This has got to be the first time where i'm worried about school.
After my exam today, it's out of my control... I have to trust.
Like... fo realz T_T
I'm scared out of my mind I'm not going to pass.
This has got to be the first time where i'm worried about school.
After my exam today, it's out of my control... I have to trust.
Like... fo realz T_T
Tuesday, December 07, 2010
I don't know what the title should be
I tried to figure it out
Time and time again and time again
I guess there's just some things I'll never understand
'Cause Your ways aren't our ways
I can't think straight.
The things that are going through my mind cause me to see things without good judgment. My thoughts are distorted and I don't feel so good.
I hate feeling like this. I hate that I can't find the right words to say or the right way to act.
It's so tempting to just give up. I want to just give up everything so that I don't have to feel this way.
I'm so distracted by these thoughts.
I don't think there is going to be sleep for me tonight.
I'm leaning on this verse for the rest of the way...
"Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3:5-6
Time and time again and time again
I guess there's just some things I'll never understand
'Cause Your ways aren't our ways
I can't think straight.
The things that are going through my mind cause me to see things without good judgment. My thoughts are distorted and I don't feel so good.
I hate feeling like this. I hate that I can't find the right words to say or the right way to act.
It's so tempting to just give up. I want to just give up everything so that I don't have to feel this way.
I'm so distracted by these thoughts.
I don't think there is going to be sleep for me tonight.
I'm leaning on this verse for the rest of the way...
"Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3:5-6
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