When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.
If God sent angels onto this Earth, it must be the people around me. Every single one of them. Today was a really good day. I don't think that I could pick out one thing that was not good. I really needed today.. just to have God let me know that I can be happy. Even after everything, I can still be happy. Thinking about that makes me feel a bit more relieved. This past month everything has been going downhill. Relationships, friends, school, family. Everything. Not a hair has slipped by that wasn't bad. Somehow... everything that happened today, the laughter, the cold, the people, pictures, it just soothed me a bit. Washed my worries away.. even if it was just briefly. That was enough to recharge my nasty old batteries. Thank God.
By today I mean yesterday as I am writing this at 2:24 in the morning. This blog post started yesterday, I promise haha.
Well... it's getting late, but I don't feel like sleeping yet, but..... Good night!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
I Think I'm Going Crazy
I. Seriously. Can't. Drive.
I find that for some reason. The more I drive, the more I fear for the next time I drive. Today was a terrific example of as to why the world would be a much more peaceful place without me driving. I should just hire a personal chauffeur. Like seriously. Right now, as I sit here, I honestly think that I will receive a ticket in the mail. And like always, I can't stop thinking about it. I thought that driving yesterday was actually pretty good, and I felt better about everything. AND THEN I JUST HAD TO GET LOST AND FEEL SO FLUSTERED TO THE POINT WHERE I NO LONGER KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING ON THE ROAD. AND WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY MR. POLICEMAN WHY???????????? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO HONK AT ME??? I TRIED TO GIVE YOU ENOUGH ROOM, REALLY, AND HONESTLY, I DID!!!!!!!!! T_T
and....
I still haven't gone up to Nosehill by myself yet. I don't think that's going to happen anymore.
I find that for some reason. The more I drive, the more I fear for the next time I drive. Today was a terrific example of as to why the world would be a much more peaceful place without me driving. I should just hire a personal chauffeur. Like seriously. Right now, as I sit here, I honestly think that I will receive a ticket in the mail. And like always, I can't stop thinking about it. I thought that driving yesterday was actually pretty good, and I felt better about everything. AND THEN I JUST HAD TO GET LOST AND FEEL SO FLUSTERED TO THE POINT WHERE I NO LONGER KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING ON THE ROAD. AND WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY MR. POLICEMAN WHY???????????? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO HONK AT ME??? I TRIED TO GIVE YOU ENOUGH ROOM, REALLY, AND HONESTLY, I DID!!!!!!!!! T_T
and....
I still haven't gone up to Nosehill by myself yet. I don't think that's going to happen anymore.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Bits and Pieces
Yeah, gotta start
Looking at the hand of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin' it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we're dying
To think that it's too late to say the things that you want to say from the bottom of your heart is really just an excuse. I can't say that now, because I still have the chance to tell the people I love how I do love them, just how much I care about them and just how much they mean to me. On the contrary, right now my heart is bending backwards and forwards with a lot of movement, it's making me sick. I can't help but regret all the time I've kept my mouth shut and feeling all the wrong emotions. In that way... I can't stop blaming myself for a lot of the things that have happened lately. I really do wonder why everything bad has to happen at the exact same time. One would think that these events are just for a little while, but... no. It's not like that. Actually it's more like, more and more issues happened one after the other and began to pile up unresolved. Everything happening is like a slap in the face, a shove into the sideline and a round-house kick to top it off. Kind of like the cherry on top of the ice cream... except it's not so sweet. It's a bitter cherry.
To honestly say, i haven't been thinking in the right mind and I'm finding my way back onto the path to be so hard. However, I can't deny the fact that throughout all these problems I'm having, God has been there 101% of the time. He's probably given more than I could give my life to thank him. I'm really grateful God has given me the time, and the reminders that I've been missing. As I write this, things become more and more clear that I have to take the chances he's giving me to do something about it, and to use it in the way I want to make Him proud. These past months... these past years... I've been nothing but a disappointment.
I pray for healing and for guidance, not just for me, but for anyone who needs it too.
Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is mighty to save,
He is mighty to save
Forever, author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
Looking at the hand of the time we've been given here
This is all we got and we gotta start thinkin' it
Every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86 400 seconds in a day
To turn it all around or throw it all away
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em while we got the chance to say,
Gotta live like we're dying
To think that it's too late to say the things that you want to say from the bottom of your heart is really just an excuse. I can't say that now, because I still have the chance to tell the people I love how I do love them, just how much I care about them and just how much they mean to me. On the contrary, right now my heart is bending backwards and forwards with a lot of movement, it's making me sick. I can't help but regret all the time I've kept my mouth shut and feeling all the wrong emotions. In that way... I can't stop blaming myself for a lot of the things that have happened lately. I really do wonder why everything bad has to happen at the exact same time. One would think that these events are just for a little while, but... no. It's not like that. Actually it's more like, more and more issues happened one after the other and began to pile up unresolved. Everything happening is like a slap in the face, a shove into the sideline and a round-house kick to top it off. Kind of like the cherry on top of the ice cream... except it's not so sweet. It's a bitter cherry.
To honestly say, i haven't been thinking in the right mind and I'm finding my way back onto the path to be so hard. However, I can't deny the fact that throughout all these problems I'm having, God has been there 101% of the time. He's probably given more than I could give my life to thank him. I'm really grateful God has given me the time, and the reminders that I've been missing. As I write this, things become more and more clear that I have to take the chances he's giving me to do something about it, and to use it in the way I want to make Him proud. These past months... these past years... I've been nothing but a disappointment.
I pray for healing and for guidance, not just for me, but for anyone who needs it too.
Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is mighty to save,
He is mighty to save
Forever, author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
1 + 1 = Window
4 out of 5 people agreed that 1 person out of the 5 will always disagree with the other 4.
(Haha) I really enjoyed that.
ANYWAYSSSSSSS....
So calculus has officially caused my brain explode a series of times HOWEVER... these explosions were done in a very satisfied way as... I enjoyed thinking how that problem actually worked.
Another thing is... WHY ON EARTH HAVE I NEVER LEARNED SIMILAR TRIANGLES?? This absurdity has caused me much frustration.
I need to do well in calculus T_T
I'm beginning to really like physics for some reason. The math and theory... okay it doesn't always make sense to me but i really like the math behind it... or physicscal mathism behind it o_O ALSO, I have no idea what's going on in Chemistry... this may be due to the fact that I have not done hw for that class in a long time... wow.... go figure.
WELLL. It's that time again... to do hw -cough-sudoku/brainage-cough-
Good night world.
(Haha) I really enjoyed that.
ANYWAYSSSSSSS....
So calculus has officially caused my brain explode a series of times HOWEVER... these explosions were done in a very satisfied way as... I enjoyed thinking how that problem actually worked.
Another thing is... WHY ON EARTH HAVE I NEVER LEARNED SIMILAR TRIANGLES?? This absurdity has caused me much frustration.
I need to do well in calculus T_T
I'm beginning to really like physics for some reason. The math and theory... okay it doesn't always make sense to me but i really like the math behind it... or physicscal mathism behind it o_O ALSO, I have no idea what's going on in Chemistry... this may be due to the fact that I have not done hw for that class in a long time... wow.... go figure.
WELLL. It's that time again... to do hw -cough-sudoku/brainage-cough-
Good night world.
Saturday, February 06, 2010
Love Ever After
No, there's not life after you
Of course that "you" would be You.
"Love ever after"... I really like that for some reason. It's almost like.. "happily ever after" but there are no.. happily ever afters. However, love ever after, is possible. I like that.
Of course that "you" would be You.
"Love ever after"... I really like that for some reason. It's almost like.. "happily ever after" but there are no.. happily ever afters. However, love ever after, is possible. I like that.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Beauty and the Beast
Certain as the sun
Rising in the east
Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the Beast
That was a beautiful movie. I always find that I am constantly reminding myself that the outside is just a shell. It's the inside that really matters. It is something that is very hard to achieve. Everyone is always judging, and critically analyzing each other. Finding myself that way is very disappointing to say the least. I don't want to shallowly look at people, i really want to see something deeper in everyone because those are the things that really matter.
So maybe when you do find that Beast, he doesn't always turn into a handsome prince, but if you do find him, when a person looks past a shell they see something very beautiful. Even as I say this, I do doubt myself if I can do that, I'll be honest. Whatever is to be set in my future, it's in God's hands. And i'll leave those things to Him.
This reminds me of a rock I got in elementary school that I keep by my bed. It's my little smack in the face. A guest brought in this big ugly white rock to our classroom, and he asked for someone to come and break it open. Obviously, breaking something, WITH PERMISSION, is something very rare, and so I put up my hand. I don't think it was a coincidence that I got chosen to do that... now that I think about it. When I broke it open, inside was a beautiful mineral... it was somewhat like clear blue crystals. Luckily for me, I got to keep it. This is just one of God's little touches to tell me something and I'm grateful.
I haven't been able to sleep well lately. I keep getting bad dreams. That just goes to show that I still have many unsolved problems. I wonder when this will end. LaLaLa?
Rising in the east
Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the Beast
That was a beautiful movie. I always find that I am constantly reminding myself that the outside is just a shell. It's the inside that really matters. It is something that is very hard to achieve. Everyone is always judging, and critically analyzing each other. Finding myself that way is very disappointing to say the least. I don't want to shallowly look at people, i really want to see something deeper in everyone because those are the things that really matter.
So maybe when you do find that Beast, he doesn't always turn into a handsome prince, but if you do find him, when a person looks past a shell they see something very beautiful. Even as I say this, I do doubt myself if I can do that, I'll be honest. Whatever is to be set in my future, it's in God's hands. And i'll leave those things to Him.
This reminds me of a rock I got in elementary school that I keep by my bed. It's my little smack in the face. A guest brought in this big ugly white rock to our classroom, and he asked for someone to come and break it open. Obviously, breaking something, WITH PERMISSION, is something very rare, and so I put up my hand. I don't think it was a coincidence that I got chosen to do that... now that I think about it. When I broke it open, inside was a beautiful mineral... it was somewhat like clear blue crystals. Luckily for me, I got to keep it. This is just one of God's little touches to tell me something and I'm grateful.
I haven't been able to sleep well lately. I keep getting bad dreams. That just goes to show that I still have many unsolved problems. I wonder when this will end. LaLaLa?
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Pray, Heaven's Waiting Now
And Jesus is just a breath away
Pray
I want to pray for so many people, and for so many things.
I pray for the people who are going through hardships in their lives... when they've met a wall so high that they no longer know how to get around or over it. I pray for God's grace to fall on them, give them a sense of family, hold them in Your arms and guide them in the direction You want them to walk. Lord God, my heart breaks for her.
I pray for the sick and the hurt. May it be physically or emotionally, I pray for healing because God, You're the only one who can do it.
I pray for guidance and pointers. I didn't realize how much I was relying completely on myself to get through everything... when... You were the one who was there pushing me along and picking me up when I fell. For that, I feel ashamed and sincerely sorry for being selfish and being so self centered. I can't find the answers to anything, and I feel like there is no longer a road I can see to take.
Last part of English... TODAY!! I feel very nervous... I hope and pray I'll do well.
Praise the Lord.
Pray
I want to pray for so many people, and for so many things.
I pray for the people who are going through hardships in their lives... when they've met a wall so high that they no longer know how to get around or over it. I pray for God's grace to fall on them, give them a sense of family, hold them in Your arms and guide them in the direction You want them to walk. Lord God, my heart breaks for her.
I pray for the sick and the hurt. May it be physically or emotionally, I pray for healing because God, You're the only one who can do it.
I pray for guidance and pointers. I didn't realize how much I was relying completely on myself to get through everything... when... You were the one who was there pushing me along and picking me up when I fell. For that, I feel ashamed and sincerely sorry for being selfish and being so self centered. I can't find the answers to anything, and I feel like there is no longer a road I can see to take.
Last part of English... TODAY!! I feel very nervous... I hope and pray I'll do well.
Praise the Lord.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Sleepless nights
I am extremely tired. Actually, I've been tired since I got up. And here I am... not willing to sleep, not willing to do anything. There are too many things on my mind. Now now, don't get me wrong. I really like sleeping... but right now... I just don't want to sleep. I feel like there are too many things that need to be done, but I just don't want to do any of it. Why? Great question, I wish I knew the answer. You know what? I wish i knew the the answers to my physics exam, and my social exam and my english exam. How wonderful that would be.
I went to tutorials this morning for social and i realized that my paper that I wrote, was a big pile of poo. Just this one ginormous, big, nasty pile of poo. And as of right now... just thinking about it makes me die a little inside. I died a little writing it, now I just died more thinking about it. The sad thing is, the only possible cure of not thinking about it is playing video games. RIGHT SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF EXAMS.
Another thing. I should not be allowed to drive. Everytime I drive something goes wrong. Why me? Come on, I really like driving, so why??? GAH.
Maybe I should sleep... my head hurts... ahh..... I don't want to think anymore.. just let everything shut down.. AHAEROVU OATVK 09T4IKOAG KOV o;
Night.
I went to tutorials this morning for social and i realized that my paper that I wrote, was a big pile of poo. Just this one ginormous, big, nasty pile of poo. And as of right now... just thinking about it makes me die a little inside. I died a little writing it, now I just died more thinking about it. The sad thing is, the only possible cure of not thinking about it is playing video games. RIGHT SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF EXAMS.
Another thing. I should not be allowed to drive. Everytime I drive something goes wrong. Why me? Come on, I really like driving, so why??? GAH.
Maybe I should sleep... my head hurts... ahh..... I don't want to think anymore.. just let everything shut down.. AHAEROVU OATVK 09T4IKOAG KOV o;
Night.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
From One World to Another
My friends always bring up such interesting topics. I have a friend who didn't like to read books because when they finished the book, it felt like they were leaving that world. I never thought about books... or even movies in that way. Now that I think about it, when I'm reading a book, I am immersed into that world. With Harry Potter, it was amazing to read about sorcery or like... Hogwarts... and being in a magical world. Even with the book Night. That world... was indeed a very dark one... but it gave me insight. Then, I came across another very interesting thing while on Soompi in the current events section. The perfection of Avatar has caused people depression in the way that they could never live in that kind of a beautiful world. I read an article on that, and how people ended up contemplating suicide because they would wake up to the dull Earth.
I was going to write more.. but my brain has died, and I can't think. Good night.
I was going to write more.. but my brain has died, and I can't think. Good night.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
If walls could talk
IF PETER CHAO CAN JUMP OFF A DRESSER, SO CAN I. Unfortunately, I do not have a dresser...
Although I am currently stressing over my social paper tomorrow... and also stressing over my English paper that I wrote today.. I AM STILL SOMEHOW NOT GETTING TO WORK. WHY?? Arrggh... I shake my mighty fist at the lovely dovey romance dramas that I keep watching.. and rewatching... and I just can't seem to stop. -Sigh-
I had an intense discussion with Tammy about having a real man as a boyfriend. So very hard to find these days. (haha) jk, but we did bring it up. I am too unsatisfied with too many things. AND SO... i should just be satisfied with everything. A solution to everything.
I am contemplating whether or not to study social or not. Even though the answer is quite obvious, I can't seem to push myself anymore then this. AHHHHHHHHHHH. KAy... if i don't study.. i'm just gonna go and punch myself in the face. That will not only hurt my face, but it will also cause slight damage to my hand as well. OKAY TIME TO FOCUS. NO MORE BLOGGING.
Although I am currently stressing over my social paper tomorrow... and also stressing over my English paper that I wrote today.. I AM STILL SOMEHOW NOT GETTING TO WORK. WHY?? Arrggh... I shake my mighty fist at the lovely dovey romance dramas that I keep watching.. and rewatching... and I just can't seem to stop. -Sigh-
I had an intense discussion with Tammy about having a real man as a boyfriend. So very hard to find these days. (haha) jk, but we did bring it up. I am too unsatisfied with too many things. AND SO... i should just be satisfied with everything. A solution to everything.
I am contemplating whether or not to study social or not. Even though the answer is quite obvious, I can't seem to push myself anymore then this. AHHHHHHHHHHH. KAy... if i don't study.. i'm just gonna go and punch myself in the face. That will not only hurt my face, but it will also cause slight damage to my hand as well. OKAY TIME TO FOCUS. NO MORE BLOGGING.
Monday, January 11, 2010
He's Dedicated to Roses
<3<3<3<3<3<3
What a wonderful manga that stole all my time as I was suppose to do homework. I ended up staying up til 2 am in the morning... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Kay... now i shall re-read that manga. It made my heart skip a beat. Always a good thing =)
Well... Physics homework here I come. Lalala, and I am now going to stay up late once again.
What a wonderful manga that stole all my time as I was suppose to do homework. I ended up staying up til 2 am in the morning... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Kay... now i shall re-read that manga. It made my heart skip a beat. Always a good thing =)
Well... Physics homework here I come. Lalala, and I am now going to stay up late once again.
Sunday, January 03, 2010
WHY IS IT 2010???
So... We were all gathered together at my friend's house for a new years eve celebration and for the countdown... and... there was a specific conversation that was brought up which made me terribly sad and depressed. 2009, 2008, 2007.. (so on and so on) WILL NEVER EVER COME BACK. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....
The truth, and the realization hurts me. I have yet to do so many things, and I have not done anything... really. (Insert a very sad face)
And you know what else? 2010 means that I am getting closer to my birthday. And my birthday means I will turn 18. I DON'T WANT TO BE LEGAL AND HAVE PEOPLE BE ABLE TO SUE ME AND ARREST ME. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.... that sucks. Well... as much as I am being paranoid about 2010, I had a really excellent new years day with my buddies. Oh they make me happy. And school in 2 days. I really didn't want to mention that, but by doing that I realize that I still have homework to do, and much studying to do. Hurray. And good job Dana for procrastinating this long. You really fail.
The truth, and the realization hurts me. I have yet to do so many things, and I have not done anything... really. (Insert a very sad face)
And you know what else? 2010 means that I am getting closer to my birthday. And my birthday means I will turn 18. I DON'T WANT TO BE LEGAL AND HAVE PEOPLE BE ABLE TO SUE ME AND ARREST ME. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.... that sucks. Well... as much as I am being paranoid about 2010, I had a really excellent new years day with my buddies. Oh they make me happy. And school in 2 days. I really didn't want to mention that, but by doing that I realize that I still have homework to do, and much studying to do. Hurray. And good job Dana for procrastinating this long. You really fail.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
ZOMBIFIED
Yes, it is true.
I AM NOW ZOMBIFIED.
=(
That means.... I got my H1N1 shot. As much as i dislike stuff being poked into my arm... i try not to think about the things that are actually going into my body through it. THAT has already caused me enough troubles.
This includes: Sharing drinks and sharing ear buds
I just think too closely about these two things and I need not to describe them.
AND LUCKY ME. ARGH!!! I now owe the library approximately $0.40 =( and i can't renew the book because of the holds that it has. I WAITED FOR THIS BOOK.. and I still haven't read it. -sigh- Oh well, i'll just borrow it from a friend.
I have fallen in love with the drama The Most Beautiful Seventh Day. Yup, it is super predictable, and it's not really that sad... but i still cried =P I find how everything has it's own connections to another is just... magical, and I love it. I am a mad, die hard fan of romantic comedies =D
I'm such a loser, BUT this is something I am totally not afraid to admit.
PEACE OUT PEOPLE, it's CHRISTMAS EVE =)
I AM NOW ZOMBIFIED.
=(
That means.... I got my H1N1 shot. As much as i dislike stuff being poked into my arm... i try not to think about the things that are actually going into my body through it. THAT has already caused me enough troubles.
This includes: Sharing drinks and sharing ear buds
I just think too closely about these two things and I need not to describe them.
AND LUCKY ME. ARGH!!! I now owe the library approximately $0.40 =( and i can't renew the book because of the holds that it has. I WAITED FOR THIS BOOK.. and I still haven't read it. -sigh- Oh well, i'll just borrow it from a friend.
I have fallen in love with the drama The Most Beautiful Seventh Day. Yup, it is super predictable, and it's not really that sad... but i still cried =P I find how everything has it's own connections to another is just... magical, and I love it. I am a mad, die hard fan of romantic comedies =D
I'm such a loser, BUT this is something I am totally not afraid to admit.
PEACE OUT PEOPLE, it's CHRISTMAS EVE =)
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Two is Better Than One
That song is sooooo amazing =)
It makes me so happy inside, and it's just currently stuck in my head.. and it won't get out... so that causes a few problems. Oh Well.
i'm so tired.... and i'm going to Zoo Lights tomorrow with... Girl from LA, brother and brother's girlfriend. Lalalala, that's going to be weird. I never go anywhere with my brother. Unless he is complaining to me while he is driving me home. That is a different story though. LALALALALALALALA
meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.
and so it goes on and on and on.
SOCIAL!!! YOU STRESS ME OUT, AS DO YOU PHYSICS, AS DO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh and how could i forget english. -shakes head-
this blog has been very very very random. LALALALALA
AND MICHAEL HURRY UP AND REPLY TO MY TEXT
AHHHHH!!!!
It makes me so happy inside, and it's just currently stuck in my head.. and it won't get out... so that causes a few problems. Oh Well.
i'm so tired.... and i'm going to Zoo Lights tomorrow with... Girl from LA, brother and brother's girlfriend. Lalalala, that's going to be weird. I never go anywhere with my brother. Unless he is complaining to me while he is driving me home. That is a different story though. LALALALALALALALA
meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.
and so it goes on and on and on.
SOCIAL!!! YOU STRESS ME OUT, AS DO YOU PHYSICS, AS DO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh and how could i forget english. -shakes head-
this blog has been very very very random. LALALALALA
AND MICHAEL HURRY UP AND REPLY TO MY TEXT
AHHHHH!!!!
Monday, December 14, 2009
LOL Smiley Face
What a terrible song that is, haha. Catchy title though!
So as of the moment, the Student Center on the University of Calgary website is not working. That means I can't submit my scholarship application. And this causes me a lot of stress which leads me to blog about it. As I am blogging, I have a few rather important things to do, however, I am not doing it. That means, tonight, I'll be sleeping late... just like last night. NOT GOOD.
I'm not sure if i should apply to the University of British Columbia or not. I mean even if I get accepted... I probably don't want to go, then it would be a waste of money. I really hope that I get into Business.. because I really don't know what I would do other than that. ARGH, thinking for my future is extremely hard.
I am sooooo tiredd!!!! And I've been looking for a new blog layout or make my own when I have time to figure out all this html stuff. -sigh- AHHH SO TIRED.
Dana + lack of sleep = (a very angry Dana)^2 = super saiyan x full moon = giant monkey
So as of the moment, the Student Center on the University of Calgary website is not working. That means I can't submit my scholarship application. And this causes me a lot of stress which leads me to blog about it. As I am blogging, I have a few rather important things to do, however, I am not doing it. That means, tonight, I'll be sleeping late... just like last night. NOT GOOD.
I'm not sure if i should apply to the University of British Columbia or not. I mean even if I get accepted... I probably don't want to go, then it would be a waste of money. I really hope that I get into Business.. because I really don't know what I would do other than that. ARGH, thinking for my future is extremely hard.
I am sooooo tiredd!!!! And I've been looking for a new blog layout or make my own when I have time to figure out all this html stuff. -sigh- AHHH SO TIRED.
Dana + lack of sleep = (a very angry Dana)^2 = super saiyan x full moon = giant monkey
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Pause, Play, Stop
The world would be a rather boring place if all of time stopped. Even for a moment, I don't think I could stand that much stillness. But... If i really think about it. It might be something that was worth thinking about for the very least. The moment that time stopped, a person could carefully examine all that is around them and just take a brief moment to really look around. Look at a stranger's face and try to understand the complex story behind that frozen face. I wonder. I always wonder what kind of a story that a person holds.
In English we've been reading into the Holocaust a lot. Actually... reading it made me question how those events really happened. I really don't understand how it was possible.. for something like that to happen. "And the world just stood idly by and watched". The pain, the suffering... no one... that's not right, no thing should ever go through such humiliation, such... emotional pain. Really. Where was God in all of that? I don't think I have the right to question. While reading the book "Night" by Elie Wiesel.... wow what a guy. His own perspective of life is just inspiring. And... reading the interview with Oprah (presented in class), as a man coming out of that hell... there was no hate in him towards the people that tortured him, that brought on that hell, he took on an entirely different view on life that I don't think I could ever understand... but just trying to understand, there is some kind of understanding... if that made any sense. Trying to explain my thoughts through words if very hard. Maybe it's because these feelings I have don't actually make that much sense, even to me, but n it's own way it makes sense... but only to me. WOW. That made no sense.
There's a lot to understand in this world. My problems that I face... they do feel so insignificant to another person's issue. But honestly. What is there to compare? Why is it that one has to always compare one's situation to see which one is worse? Does it make it that much better? "Questions bring people together. Answers tear people apart" A quote I got from a reading that Elie Wiesel said himself. It makes a lot of sense to a lot of worldly issues, but of course (haha) one could argue.
I just have too many complex feelings. I don't want to feel them actually. I don't enjoy the extra stress it brings onto my life. However, I don't feel like I really need to dispose of those feelings.
What stupid feelings I have. I need to stop thinking altogether. My thoughts don't even make sense anymore.
In English we've been reading into the Holocaust a lot. Actually... reading it made me question how those events really happened. I really don't understand how it was possible.. for something like that to happen. "And the world just stood idly by and watched". The pain, the suffering... no one... that's not right, no thing should ever go through such humiliation, such... emotional pain. Really. Where was God in all of that? I don't think I have the right to question. While reading the book "Night" by Elie Wiesel.... wow what a guy. His own perspective of life is just inspiring. And... reading the interview with Oprah (presented in class), as a man coming out of that hell... there was no hate in him towards the people that tortured him, that brought on that hell, he took on an entirely different view on life that I don't think I could ever understand... but just trying to understand, there is some kind of understanding... if that made any sense. Trying to explain my thoughts through words if very hard. Maybe it's because these feelings I have don't actually make that much sense, even to me, but n it's own way it makes sense... but only to me. WOW. That made no sense.
There's a lot to understand in this world. My problems that I face... they do feel so insignificant to another person's issue. But honestly. What is there to compare? Why is it that one has to always compare one's situation to see which one is worse? Does it make it that much better? "Questions bring people together. Answers tear people apart" A quote I got from a reading that Elie Wiesel said himself. It makes a lot of sense to a lot of worldly issues, but of course (haha) one could argue.
I just have too many complex feelings. I don't want to feel them actually. I don't enjoy the extra stress it brings onto my life. However, I don't feel like I really need to dispose of those feelings.
What stupid feelings I have. I need to stop thinking altogether. My thoughts don't even make sense anymore.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Pepsi
You can never say never
Why we dont know when
Time and time again
Younger now than we were before
Don't let me go...
I don't think I could ever stand being alone. Okay, maybe from time to time when I just need some time for myself.. but other than that, I love to be surrounded by people. Loneliness... to me, it's the worst feeling in the world. To have people who won't abandon you, to have people recognize you, to have people welcome you with open arms... it helps people walk a little further no matter how bad things get. There were times in my life, when I felt like I had no friends, no one to trust and I could only depend on myself. That was difficult. But then a friend came along and reached out His hands to me. I don't ever want to let go of those hands. For as long as I live, Those hands will touch my heart and lift me up. God, don't ever let me go, not even for a moment. Know that... no matter how far I stray, I will always come back to you, so don't let me stray, keep me on the path to Your glory.
Don't let me go.
Why we dont know when
Time and time again
Younger now than we were before
Don't let me go...
I don't think I could ever stand being alone. Okay, maybe from time to time when I just need some time for myself.. but other than that, I love to be surrounded by people. Loneliness... to me, it's the worst feeling in the world. To have people who won't abandon you, to have people recognize you, to have people welcome you with open arms... it helps people walk a little further no matter how bad things get. There were times in my life, when I felt like I had no friends, no one to trust and I could only depend on myself. That was difficult. But then a friend came along and reached out His hands to me. I don't ever want to let go of those hands. For as long as I live, Those hands will touch my heart and lift me up. God, don't ever let me go, not even for a moment. Know that... no matter how far I stray, I will always come back to you, so don't let me stray, keep me on the path to Your glory.
Don't let me go.
Sunday, November 08, 2009
NOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSE
My house... is always so noisy. It's really very hard to find peace and quiet in any part of the house in any time of day. The only time of day that it's ACTUALLY quiet is.... at night when everyone is asleep. Wait no. That's not entirely true. The basement.... When i'm trying to finish up homework, my grandmother would come out of her room every 30 mins or so, and go to the washroom, or come and scold me to go to sleep especially if it's an urgent assignment due to procrastination. I really just want some kind of quietness... that would be nice. BUT THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE IN MY CURRENT SITUATION.
Physics.... hates me. BUT I STILL DON'T HATE YOU !!!!!! OKAY????? SO PLEASE GIVE ME A CHANCE. JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE AND WATCH WE WILL WORK THINGS OUT!!!!!!!!! DON'T DO THIS TO MEEEE!!!! I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS I'M DOING THAT MAKES YOU MAD AT ME, SO SO, TELL ME AND I'LL BE BETTER, I PROMISE!!!
(I am that desperate)
Physics.... hates me. BUT I STILL DON'T HATE YOU !!!!!! OKAY????? SO PLEASE GIVE ME A CHANCE. JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE AND WATCH WE WILL WORK THINGS OUT!!!!!!!!! DON'T DO THIS TO MEEEE!!!! I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS I'M DOING THAT MAKES YOU MAD AT ME, SO SO, TELL ME AND I'LL BE BETTER, I PROMISE!!!
(I am that desperate)
Friday, October 30, 2009
Siblinggggg
I don't know what I would do without my brother. He is possibly the only person I have yet to know... to make me laugh when I feel my worst. No matter what he does to make me really mad, or what he does to hurt me, or what he does to annoy me, I still love this guy. I don't know how he does it, but I always feel better after talking to him. He gives... different perspectives, never the cliche, and.... he's my brother, he's a part of me in the way that we are connected by blood. It makes me happy that there is someone like that for me.
There are honestly a lot of things that I need to get done, and I really haven't done anything. I'm suppose to write a short story by Nov.1, soooo.. I don't know how i'm going to get that done for the scholarship. ARGH!! I really like writing short stories. But... I'm no good at them. Mmm.. My eyes are itching for sleep, so night all =)
There are honestly a lot of things that I need to get done, and I really haven't done anything. I'm suppose to write a short story by Nov.1, soooo.. I don't know how i'm going to get that done for the scholarship. ARGH!! I really like writing short stories. But... I'm no good at them. Mmm.. My eyes are itching for sleep, so night all =)
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Green, Yellow, Red
Keep tryna turn back the page, but it still feels like...
Romeo & Juliet.
I wanna love you but I
just cant seem to do it yet.
I never know whether i should stop or not when the lights are turning from green to yellow, and eventually red. AH, stressful. What if life just had no stress in it? That... would also be stressful. Because then I wouldn't have anything to do. And life would be boring.
I'm really excited to start this mentorship program. At first i was a bit unsure whether or not I would want to waste my fridays doing this... I eventually came to the conclusion... after thinking it over and over again, that I would do this. I'm not sure how this is going to go, but oh welps. We'll see =)
Man, I am obsessed with shoujo mangas T_T They are just so cute! Makes me wish that I had a love like this.
Today was possibly the easiest most... relaxing working saturday that I've had in a while. When the studio gets a bit busier, i don't get as restless.
I'm so scared about what I'm headed into. University seems so scary, so far away... yet so close. I'm not really sure what to go into, and everything seems like a mess of things at the moment.
I was out with dinner with the fam, and I was talking to my cousin and we got into a discussion of religion. There are so many things in this world. There is one Bible, and there are billions of people, each one with a different perspective. Everyone has a different interpretation of the Bible, a different set of morals and values. It's a confusing thing, and there are so many things that I don't understand, and I question a lot about the things that I might read about and I can't seem to just put one finger on one thing. I know that God is real, I know that much. But it seems everything else is muddled and very hard to understand. I'm trying to grasp something that turns into a million other things.
AHHHHHHHHHHHH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH SCHOLARSHIPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Romeo & Juliet.
I wanna love you but I
just cant seem to do it yet.
I never know whether i should stop or not when the lights are turning from green to yellow, and eventually red. AH, stressful. What if life just had no stress in it? That... would also be stressful. Because then I wouldn't have anything to do. And life would be boring.
I'm really excited to start this mentorship program. At first i was a bit unsure whether or not I would want to waste my fridays doing this... I eventually came to the conclusion... after thinking it over and over again, that I would do this. I'm not sure how this is going to go, but oh welps. We'll see =)
Man, I am obsessed with shoujo mangas T_T They are just so cute! Makes me wish that I had a love like this.
Today was possibly the easiest most... relaxing working saturday that I've had in a while. When the studio gets a bit busier, i don't get as restless.
I'm so scared about what I'm headed into. University seems so scary, so far away... yet so close. I'm not really sure what to go into, and everything seems like a mess of things at the moment.
I was out with dinner with the fam, and I was talking to my cousin and we got into a discussion of religion. There are so many things in this world. There is one Bible, and there are billions of people, each one with a different perspective. Everyone has a different interpretation of the Bible, a different set of morals and values. It's a confusing thing, and there are so many things that I don't understand, and I question a lot about the things that I might read about and I can't seem to just put one finger on one thing. I know that God is real, I know that much. But it seems everything else is muddled and very hard to understand. I'm trying to grasp something that turns into a million other things.
AHHHHHHHHHHHH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH SCHOLARSHIPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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