And so the story goes on

It seems that all that I've feared has come to a conclusion. There is just no more doubt in what I feel. The hard part would be to confront it... Something I have never been successful in doing. It feels as though if I don't act on it... my heart will just get eaten away. I honestly don't know if my decisions will turn into something I'll like, but... I have a feeling that I probably won't regret it. I have never known what is best, and I probably never will. I just know that there are decisions that I have to choose in order to continue on with my life. Everything would be easier if I could just close my eyes and wish away everything that troubles me and I won't have to deal with anything. Life would be too simple... and in this world, it's never simple... or at least when you start to grow up. Another factor why I hate growing up.
There has been things going on at home that I just don't really feel. Days like today just makes me want to shrivel up in a corner and hope and hope someone will come by and make it all better.
All of hope and all of what I really want right now is for God to take over. The driver's seat really isn't what I'm set for. My need to focus on God seems to be growing more and more... And to be with someone who can't share that aspect of me... I don't think I can handle it anymore. The most important thing in my life can't be shared with someone who I want to share my life would... just doesn't mix.

Honestly, i don't know when to act on it, nor do I know when I'll build enough courage. Hurting people... just isn't my forte.