YOU SUCK.
SOOOO MUCH.
mmhmm..
i hatechu exams, really i do T_T
BUT U BETTER BRING UP MY MARKS
OR I WILL....
....
I CAN'T DO ANYTHINGGGGGG
-sigh-
T_T
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Thursday, June 04, 2009
JUUUUUUUUUUUUUNE
WHY ARE YOU HERE SOO SOO SOON.
MY CHEM HAS DIED, AND MY MATH HAS DIED ALSO
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY
And bio.. ... ya i just gave up on you
AND WHY ELAAA
WHYYYY MUST POETRY BE SO DECEIVING???
-tear- i just had to fail didn't i?
Oh YC, YC oh YC.
I had an enjoyable time..
but this time round...
it was really different than my first one.
King.
I will remember that one for life.
But this time, Live it Loud, this is something
that will stick with me til the end.
I don't think i have ever cried with such a reality hitting me.
A revealing of something that i don't think i would be able to face
until it just smacks me right up the head.
I was really hoping that there would be this overflow of happiness
that God is in my life, and that i would be rejoicing with joy
after YC, but.. it didn't happen.
I was overflowed however... with emotions that really really grasped me.
It was a truth that i don't think i could run away from anymore.
To be faced with yourself, your true self and to really look at yourself
and evaluate who you are... it's something that really brings the tears coming.
I saw myself... and i hated it.
What i was becoming, and what i was in the past.
There were so many things that i came to realize... i couldn't let go.
I felt like a pathetic fool, living my life with such stupidity.
And... there in that stadium... it's like i had an epiphany.
I just bolted me so hard, i could barely keep balance.
After YC... i really wanted to go for a change.
And i really really want to walk back onto the Lord's path.
It's... a lot harder than i thought it would be.
I can barely keep awake at night to pray my sorrows, my joy and my thoughts.
I can barely feel the life that hangs around my neck.
I hate this.
The thing that I want the most is so far out of reach.
And it's even worse that I am barely giving out enough strength to reach.
I hate myself for this.
I can't stand this.
I just... really want to hold onto my God tightly, never swaying.
So why...
why can't i find the strength to put You first.
I'm so sorry for this, and grieving gives me nothing.
Yet... yet i still am.
God... save me.
MY CHEM HAS DIED, AND MY MATH HAS DIED ALSO
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY
And bio.. ... ya i just gave up on you
AND WHY ELAAA
WHYYYY MUST POETRY BE SO DECEIVING???
-tear- i just had to fail didn't i?
Oh YC, YC oh YC.
I had an enjoyable time..
but this time round...
it was really different than my first one.
King.
I will remember that one for life.
But this time, Live it Loud, this is something
that will stick with me til the end.
I don't think i have ever cried with such a reality hitting me.
A revealing of something that i don't think i would be able to face
until it just smacks me right up the head.
I was really hoping that there would be this overflow of happiness
that God is in my life, and that i would be rejoicing with joy
after YC, but.. it didn't happen.
I was overflowed however... with emotions that really really grasped me.
It was a truth that i don't think i could run away from anymore.
To be faced with yourself, your true self and to really look at yourself
and evaluate who you are... it's something that really brings the tears coming.
I saw myself... and i hated it.
What i was becoming, and what i was in the past.
There were so many things that i came to realize... i couldn't let go.
I felt like a pathetic fool, living my life with such stupidity.
And... there in that stadium... it's like i had an epiphany.
I just bolted me so hard, i could barely keep balance.
After YC... i really wanted to go for a change.
And i really really want to walk back onto the Lord's path.
It's... a lot harder than i thought it would be.
I can barely keep awake at night to pray my sorrows, my joy and my thoughts.
I can barely feel the life that hangs around my neck.
I hate this.
The thing that I want the most is so far out of reach.
And it's even worse that I am barely giving out enough strength to reach.
I hate myself for this.
I can't stand this.
I just... really want to hold onto my God tightly, never swaying.
So why...
why can't i find the strength to put You first.
I'm so sorry for this, and grieving gives me nothing.
Yet... yet i still am.
God... save me.
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