Pause, Play, Stop

The world would be a rather boring place if all of time stopped. Even for a moment, I don't think I could stand that much stillness. But... If i really think about it. It might be something that was worth thinking about for the very least. The moment that time stopped, a person could carefully examine all that is around them and just take a brief moment to really look around. Look at a stranger's face and try to understand the complex story behind that frozen face. I wonder. I always wonder what kind of a story that a person holds.
In English we've been reading into the Holocaust a lot. Actually... reading it made me question how those events really happened. I really don't understand how it was possible.. for something like that to happen. "And the world just stood idly by and watched". The pain, the suffering... no one... that's not right, no thing should ever go through such humiliation, such... emotional pain. Really. Where was God in all of that? I don't think I have the right to question. While reading the book "Night" by Elie Wiesel.... wow what a guy. His own perspective of life is just inspiring. And... reading the interview with Oprah (presented in class), as a man coming out of that hell... there was no hate in him towards the people that tortured him, that brought on that hell, he took on an entirely different view on life that I don't think I could ever understand... but just trying to understand, there is some kind of understanding... if that made any sense. Trying to explain my thoughts through words if very hard. Maybe it's because these feelings I have don't actually make that much sense, even to me, but n it's own way it makes sense... but only to me. WOW. That made no sense.

There's a lot to understand in this world. My problems that I face... they do feel so insignificant to another person's issue. But honestly. What is there to compare? Why is it that one has to always compare one's situation to see which one is worse? Does it make it that much better? "Questions bring people together. Answers tear people apart" A quote I got from a reading that Elie Wiesel said himself. It makes a lot of sense to a lot of worldly issues, but of course (haha) one could argue.

I just have too many complex feelings. I don't want to feel them actually. I don't enjoy the extra stress it brings onto my life. However, I don't feel like I really need to dispose of those feelings.
What stupid feelings I have. I need to stop thinking altogether. My thoughts don't even make sense anymore.

Pepsi

You can never say never
Why we dont know when
Time and time again
Younger now than we were before

Don't let me go...

I don't think I could ever stand being alone. Okay, maybe from time to time when I just need some time for myself.. but other than that, I love to be surrounded by people. Loneliness... to me, it's the worst feeling in the world. To have people who won't abandon you, to have people recognize you, to have people welcome you with open arms... it helps people walk a little further no matter how bad things get. There were times in my life, when I felt like I had no friends, no one to trust and I could only depend on myself. That was difficult. But then a friend came along and reached out His hands to me. I don't ever want to let go of those hands. For as long as I live, Those hands will touch my heart and lift me up. God, don't ever let me go, not even for a moment. Know that... no matter how far I stray, I will always come back to you, so don't let me stray, keep me on the path to Your glory.
Don't let me go.

NOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSE

My house... is always so noisy. It's really very hard to find peace and quiet in any part of the house in any time of day. The only time of day that it's ACTUALLY quiet is.... at night when everyone is asleep. Wait no. That's not entirely true. The basement.... When i'm trying to finish up homework, my grandmother would come out of her room every 30 mins or so, and go to the washroom, or come and scold me to go to sleep especially if it's an urgent assignment due to procrastination. I really just want some kind of quietness... that would be nice. BUT THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE IN MY CURRENT SITUATION.

Physics.... hates me. BUT I STILL DON'T HATE YOU !!!!!! OKAY????? SO PLEASE GIVE ME A CHANCE. JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE AND WATCH WE WILL WORK THINGS OUT!!!!!!!!! DON'T DO THIS TO MEEEE!!!! I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS I'M DOING THAT MAKES YOU MAD AT ME, SO SO, TELL ME AND I'LL BE BETTER, I PROMISE!!!
(I am that desperate)