Here we are again

It's 5am and I'm just going to sleep. 

Why? 

Cause school sucks. Like just reeeeaally sucks. I cannot wait to graduate, assuming I can T_T.

I wish I could stop putting myself into this kind of position everytime there's an assignment, or test... It is my fault but I can't seem to bring myself to do anything  until the pressure is on. Why am I like this? 

Anyways. 

I should sleep... Waking up in about two hours =(

You come through

Feeling very blessed by this song

The Lord is my Shepherd - Jeremy Riddle

Let the pain in my life
Find its healing in Your eyes
Every hurt, every loss
Pull me closer to Your heart

Let the wind and the waves
Bring anew, courage and faith
I’m singing out, singing out…

The Lord is my Shepherd and I want for nothing
You lead me to water for You know I’m thirsting
And I, am only satisfied by You

Every day, I make a choice
To be led, only by Your voice
To be bold and unafraid
Knowing I am covered, I am safe

For even now, in my need
You are proving yet again to me
You are there
You are there
Always there

The Lord is my Shepherd and I want for nothing
You lead me to water for You know I’m thirsting
And I, am only satisfied by You

I'm super tired, and quite stressed out about school, my grades and if I'll graduate.
And yet I am feeling so blessed. 

The only thing in my life that I've ever been sure about is the grace of God.

The grace that covers me in my worst, in my most unworthy and just the amount of doubt I have sometimes.

The weight of HIs love, the heavy feeling in my heart that is so overwhelmed by his presence is with me tonight.

I'm so thankful to have a God so great, so loving and so forgiving. 

I'm so thankful for a God who can take away my burdens and give me peace... even joy. 

So so so blessed.

Again I Ask

Why school, why?

I was at school from 8:00 this morning til 8:30 at night.
My stomach is growling, I had to take the bus home.
I feel kind of sad inside.
School.
You suck dearly.
So very much.
Again I ask...

Why school...
just why?

Your Love Oh Lord

Recently, I've been connecting with my friends a lot more.
I didn't realize how much I missed them... but it's been really nice to have them in my life again. They are such beautiful people.
I also didn't realize that I can be very selfish on the matter of friends. I have loads of friends and a lot of the time I complain about how I don't have any. In all honestly, I was just a bad friend in not connecting and retaining that relationship in the first place.
All in all, I complain too much and don't do enough of what I say I should do. This I've already come into an understanding of but that doesn't mean it should carry on.

The people in my life matter very much and I worry about them all the time but my actions do not speak louder than words and this is something I've really been trying to do better of.
I love the people in my life and they deserve to know that I do.
I regret not doing more, and I regret being selfish.
God has really placed on my heart to love more... to not just contain His love for me in myself. It's definitely not meant for just me.
I grew up not knowing really how to show it... but that doesn't mean God can't teach me.
I'm going to keep this in my prayer and try to do more... rather than just say I'll do it.

How He Loves

How is God so good to someone like me?

This is something I will never understand....

And I don't think I'm someone who is meant to understand and comprehend His love for me. 

This year has definitely been quite painful, but I really believe that through all this hurt... God has shown me the love he has for me more than ever. 

Throughout the constant realizations of things within my life and just the constant obstacles that have been appearing, I've never been more loved in my life by trusting God.

Trusting in what?

Well.

Trusting that God is taking care of me. 

It's been hard to have faith that anything in this world could help me through conflict and struggles in my life because people have proven to fail me at every turn. 

But, when I really let go this time, the faith I have has carried me farther that I ever hoped it would go. Even if there was bad news, even if I failed at something, God has really taken care of me in the end.

I'm not worthy of this love.

But His grace is greater than all of that. 

Thanks God.

You've given me more than comfort and surpassed what is ordinary...

You've given me a life I want to live for you no matter the discomfort.

For you, in you, anything is possible. 

Already There

When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
I can't wait to enjoy the view
And see how the pieces fit

My God is good.