I spend my life to know, I'm far from close to all You are...
Recently, I've been trying to lay out the things that God has done for me. He has done a lot for me through the many obstacles that I have come across. To withstand the amount of complaining, whining, and pouting that I have dealt can only be handled by a higher being haha.
The best description that I have come across, honestly just 2 minutes ago, is that God makes me brave.
When I'm around the people I'm close to, I can be really loud and I'm not quite afraid to express myself, but the moment there's a stranger there, I shut off. It's almost like my brain runs out of juice and my thought cease to exist. Asking an employee of a retail service place for something is extremely difficult and talking to someone new feels like I just want to jump off a building rather than carry a conversation. It's actually quite depressing how it makes me feel. The confidence that I like to pretend I have is just not really there.
However, when I worship... no matter the crowd, not matter who is there in the audience... when I'm focused on God, He makes me brave. This is the best description I have yet to come across. When my heart is on God, the world's judgement can't compare to the strength and power of my Father. The passage where Peter is walking towards Jesus on water with his eyes focused on him, he can successfully trust the miracles. This story resonates with me a lot because I have a lot of trouble focusing, even on God.
I really hope that with faith, with trust and with practice I can take that bravery off stage and into my day to day life. Maybe one day I'll even be able to speak perfectly normal with a stranger without thinking that I'd rather slit my wrist than go through with it. I do believe that with my eyes on God... I can do this.
You make me brave, You called me out beyond the shore into the waves.
You make me brave, no fear can hinder me now from the promises you made.
Recently, I've been trying to lay out the things that God has done for me. He has done a lot for me through the many obstacles that I have come across. To withstand the amount of complaining, whining, and pouting that I have dealt can only be handled by a higher being haha.
The best description that I have come across, honestly just 2 minutes ago, is that God makes me brave.
When I'm around the people I'm close to, I can be really loud and I'm not quite afraid to express myself, but the moment there's a stranger there, I shut off. It's almost like my brain runs out of juice and my thought cease to exist. Asking an employee of a retail service place for something is extremely difficult and talking to someone new feels like I just want to jump off a building rather than carry a conversation. It's actually quite depressing how it makes me feel. The confidence that I like to pretend I have is just not really there.
However, when I worship... no matter the crowd, not matter who is there in the audience... when I'm focused on God, He makes me brave. This is the best description I have yet to come across. When my heart is on God, the world's judgement can't compare to the strength and power of my Father. The passage where Peter is walking towards Jesus on water with his eyes focused on him, he can successfully trust the miracles. This story resonates with me a lot because I have a lot of trouble focusing, even on God.
I really hope that with faith, with trust and with practice I can take that bravery off stage and into my day to day life. Maybe one day I'll even be able to speak perfectly normal with a stranger without thinking that I'd rather slit my wrist than go through with it. I do believe that with my eyes on God... I can do this.
You make me brave, You called me out beyond the shore into the waves.
You make me brave, no fear can hinder me now from the promises you made.
1 comments:
Really nice post. I have also learnt the same from throughout my life. He gave me so much courage to live with and fight with.
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